When bikini met Bertinelli

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I had to leave the house this morning before Lester Holt and the froggy-throated Ann Curry could reveal the name of the ‘former child star’ whose bikini-clad bod appeared on the cover of the most recent People magazine, identity obscured by the digital equivalent of a Vaseline smear over the face.

Since NPR didn’t break the news during my commute to work, I was forced to wait until I got to my desk where I was happy to see our cousin blog The Dish Rag had posted that it was indeed Jenny Craig celebrity client Valerie Bertinelli, who had shed 50 pounds and felt confident enough to slip into a skimpy two-piece for the cover.

Unfortunately on my way there I was sidetracked by the post about Zac Efron and his advice on curing flatulence by hanging upside down. Now that’s an image that sticks with you.

Who needs Jenny Craig? If I just make it a point to re-read that right before lunchtime every day, I’ll shed a quick 50 pounds in no time.
-- Adam Tschorn