The Joy and the Dismay of Discovering Spiders

I cannot believe that you devoted an editorial to spiders. Yeeekkk!!! Those noxious creatures with their twitchy, spindly legs and eerie webs are enough to make me climb up a wall!

Recently I noticed to my horror that several gigantic spiders were stationed in elaborate webbings based on fluorescent lights in the garage of my apartment complex. I was horrified, and my skin began to crawl!

At first I considered calling the police, but I then realized that would be a cowardly thing to do for a brave, young, powerful man such as myself. Next I filled up a pail of water and tried flinging the water onto one of the spiders. However, in my panic my coordination deserted me, and most of the water spilled on me.

Finally I went out and bought five different brands of insecticide sprays. After returning home with them and experimenting with each to find the one with the most powerful spray action, I was armed and ready. I picked one spider out (the one dangling next to my car), and it was ready, aim, fire! I sprayed and sprayed and sprayed and sprayed and sprayed.

Surprisingly, the spider didn’t dart off. It staggered around in its web as it became drenched with the good stuff. Eventually it descended slowly on a piece of web (“filament,” as you call it), but I continued spraying. After it completed its landing on the floor, I finished it off! I repeated the procedure for each and everyone of the other “weavers.”

After I was finished with the battle, I felt like a hero. I likened myself to Sgt. Alvin York of World War I fame. The difficult part was over. Now I simply spray the pest-free light bulbs once a week for preventive purposes.

Many times I have become upset over opinions you have expressed on the editorial pages. However, your editorials will bother me no more. After reading your spider editorial, I now have a deeper understanding of the minds of your editorial writers--they are packed with webbing, through and through.

JERRY GINSBURG

Sherman Oaks