USC Should Come Out in Force Against Irish

The subject was USC vs. Notre Dame, and a reporter for a Southland paper was promising everyone that Ted Tollner would get even with Gerry Faust in next year’s game.

“How?” he was asked.

“When the Trojans come out on the field,” he said, “they’ll be wearing Air Force uniforms.”

Would-you-believe-it dept.: Zeph Lee, USC’s No. 4 tailback, has a better career average than the top 10 rushers in the school’s history.

Lee is averaging 5.94 yards a carry. Last year, he had a 94-yard run, equaling a school record. In 1981, he had a 54-yard run, and in 1982, playing fullback, he had a 69-yard run. It was the longest by a USC fullback since a 75-yarder by C.R. Roberts in 1956.

Among USC’s top 10 all-time rushers, Jon Arnett has the top average at 5.66 yards. He’s followed by Orv Mohler 5.63, Charles White 5.44, Mike Garrett 5.27, Ricky Bell 5.20, Marcus Allen 5.16, O.J. Simpson 5.08, Anthony Davis 4.75, Clarence Davis 4.54 and Fred Crutcher 4.19.

Trivia Time: In the “Who’s on First?” routine by Abbott & Costello, what’s the name of the second baseman? How many other positions can you name? (Answer below.)

Attention, Hayden Fry: University of Minnesota football Coach Lou Holtz claims that a man from Canada came up to him and said: “We’re thankful for your state. If it wasn’t for Minnesota, we’d be right next to Iowa.”

Dallas Maverick Coach Dick Motta, asked how Kareem Abdul-Jabbar manages to excel at age 38, told Skip Bayless of the Dallas Times Herald: “Because the game’s so easy for him. He never overextends or plays out of control. At times, he seems almost bored--and those are the times we’ve had success against them.

“The worst thing you can do is wake the big guy up. The worst thing Boston could have done was win Game 1 by 30 in the playoffs. Once they made him mad, it was all over.”

Turns out, it’s going to cost more for Joaquin Andujar to bust up a commode than it cost him to bump an umpire in the World Series.

Andujar was fined $500 for the umpire incident. For his clubhouse caper, in which a toilet and lavatory were shattered, the assistant engineer at Royals Stadium, David Owen, said the St. Louis Cardinals can expect a bill of $1,500 to $2,000.

Said 7-foot 7-inch Washington Bullet rookie Manute Bol, explaining his first NBA basket Tuesday night against the Cleveland Cavaliers: “It was off a pick-and-roll play.”

Said Cleveland’s World B. Free: “Hmmm. He must’ve meant a toothpick and roll.”

Cleveland Brown nose tackle Bob Golic, on Pittsburgh Steeler center Mike Webster, whom he will be facing Sunday: “To me, he’s still the strongest, fastest and most talented center in the league. And I say that hoping that he’ll read this and won’t hurt me.”

Chicago Bear Coach Mike Ditka, along with Don Shula and Tom Landry, was listed in a Sports Illustrated survey of NFL players as the coaches they would like to play for least.

Said Ditka: “Any guy who doesn’t want to play for Shula or Landry is a lazy bum. Me, I could understand. I haven’t done anything. To put me in their class is really something.”

Trivia Answer: What. Other positions: 3B--I Don’t Know; SS--I Don’t Care; LF--Why; CF--Because; C--Today; P--Tomorrow.

Note: There is no right fielder in the routine.

Quotebook

Cleveland Brown Coach Marty Schottenheimer, on why the team will fly to Sunday’s game against Pittsburgh instead of taking the bus as in the past: “I always get nosebleeds on buses.”