A Guide, Gossip, a Glimpse of Glory : MIXED MEDIA: A SPECIAL BOOKS EDITION : <i> Rated on a scale of one star (poor) to five (a classic).</i> : “BE MY BABY” By Ronnie Spector with Vince Waldron <i> Harmony Books ($19.95)</i>

Naming a pop star autobiography after the subject’s biggest hit might seem like a failure of imagination, but in Spector’s case, the title has considerable resonance. In “Be My Baby,” the singer tells how she lost her rock ‘n’ roll career, and a great deal of her self-respect, because she allowed herself to become somebody else’s baby instead of her own woman.

The narrative’s controlling figure is record producer Phil Spector, portrayed here as a profoundly insecure and impulsive force who made the Ronettes stars, fell in love with lead singer Ronnie, and then turned that dream into a nightmarish trap.

Instead of making her book a bitter pay-back in print, Ronnie Spector treats her ex-husband with as much understanding as can be expected, given the apparent circumstances. While scenes from a hellish marriage form the book’s dark core, “Be My Baby” doesn’t wallow. There’s effervescent innocence in the climbing-to-stardom passages set in the early ‘60s, and a hard-won climb to normalcy at the end.

With the help of her co-writer, Ronnie comes off as a funny, observant, consistently engaging narrator who keeps the story flowing briskly with believable re-creations of dialogue. The tale is sprinkled with deadpan humor (“I have to be honest, the first time I saw Cher I thought she was a hooker”) and some hilarious scenes, notably one in which a beleaguered, virginal Ronnie literally digs in her heels against a seduction attempt by John Lennon during the Ronettes’ first trip to England.