COLLEGE BASKETBALL / NCAA MEN’S FINAL FOUR : Looks Like Real Game for the Ages

MINNEAPOLIS —  There is only one thing we really need to know about Monday’s championship game of men’s college basketball between Michigan and Duke, which won’t begin until 9:22 p.m., Eastern time, and won’t end until sometime between Jay Leno and David Letterman.

Do the Michigan players’ parents let them stay up this late on a school night?

Get ready for the freshmen against the not-so-fresh.

It’s the guys right out of high school against the guys who go to law school.

Michigan’s players are cramming for exams.

Duke’s players are cramming for their bar exams.

Michigan’s are so green, we should still be waiting for them to ripen, like fruit.

Duke’s have been around so long, they ought to come with an expiration date, like milk.

Michigan’s guys are pledging fraternities.

Duke’s are out pricing BMWs.

All five Wolverine starters were born in 1973. Some of them probably get asked to show ID at PG-13 movies. They’re so young, not only don’t they watch Leno, they don’t remember Johnny Carson.

Whereas Christian Laettner of the Blue Devils is, uh, let’s see, how old now--39? Mid-40s? This is what, his fourth Final Four? Did he ever play against John Wooden? Did they dunk back then?

When Laettner and Brian Davis were in their first Final Four for Duke, these Michigan kids were 16 years old.

Meaning, if they felt like it, if they really and truly wanted to get under their opponents’ skins Monday night, they could say: “Hey, I used to watch you when I was growing up.”

This game isn’t simply Duke vs. Michigan.

It’s more like Tobacco Road vs. Sesame Street.

Youth definitely is not wasted on the young in Ann Arbor, Mich., where a community known for its beautiful trees is suddenly better known for its saplings.

Steve Fisher’s team is called the Fab Five. Funny thing is, these guys don’t even know why. Somebody could tell them the Beatles were known as the Fab Four. Their only reply would be: “Yeah? Who are the Beatles?”

Like, these guys are too young to have heard of Paul McCartney’s second band.

But so what? After Michigan knocked out Cincinnati, 76-72, here Saturday, freshman guard Jalen Rose said:

“Hey, we may be young, but we got experience.”

Experience in what?

“Experience beating people,” Rose said.

Afraid of Duke? Why should Michigan be afraid of Duke? Bunch of old dudes. Probably wear orthopedic sneakers. Probably listen to Lawrence Welk. Or maybe those Beatles people. Probably never even heard of rap music. Probably think Hammer is a tool and Ice-T is a drink.

Chris Webber said: “We already played them (Dec. 14, losing in overtime, 88-85). They beat us. But wasn’t like they scared us. We’re not afraid of Duke. But we respect them.”

Of course you do.

Respect your elders.

The Wolverines are a bunch of hip, happy-go-lucky kids. Juwan Howard got his grandma mad at him for getting a tattoo on his left shoulder that reads: “Dr. J.” Rose went him one better--or make that worse. He had the word “BOSS” tattooed on his chest. And it was Rose who shaved Webber’s hair after his teammate said: “I played more aggressive when I was bald-headed. Cut it.”

Their coach, Steve Fisher, is about as hip as Paul Tsongas. But he sure does get the job done. Fisher’s record in NCAA tournament games now? It’s 12-1. The only school that has defeated a Fisher team in the tournament is Loyola Marymount, and that one was almost unfair, seeing as how Loyola played that game with six men--one of them in spirit.

Anyway, if Fisher keeps this up, they might be calling him “Coach F.”

Coach K is still Mike Krzyzewski of Duke, who keeps winning and winning. This guy’s record in NCAA tournament games is 32-7, including Saturday’s success against that other Coach K, you know who.

This one was a pretty tough loss to swallow for Bob Knight, who went out afterward for some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

After grabbing a 12-point lead, the hurryin’ Hoosiers proceeded to get outscored, 31-6. They weren’t helped much by a technical foul against the bench, which led to two successful free throws by Duke in a game eventually decided by three points.

The hero for Duke was the hardly burly Bobby Hurley, the junior guard who looks about half as old as the Michigan freshmen.

Hurley will be going for his second national championship Monday.

Then afterward, he and the Michigan guys can go out and reminisce about the olden days, back in the late ‘80s.