‘Not Opera’ Offers Slick Sitcom Fare

The network TV season starts a little early with “Not Opera: An Evening of Love and Loathing.”

As it happens, Michael Panes’ new one-act play has landed not on your TV dial but rather at the Coast Playhouse in West Hollywood. But with its quirky situations and peppery one-liners, the show needs only a hearty laugh track to join the ranks of slick, silly sitcoms a la “Seinfeld.”

Director Randy Brenner’s grade-A production of this second-rate script features two highly polished and professional comedic actors, Amy Aquino and Neal Lerner, playing five different couples facing some pretty goofy romantic crises.

In one scene, an actress tries to convince her husband that she saw the baby Jesus on the subway. In another, an unemployed man resolves to kill his date so he can become a rich and famous serial killer. In still another, a woman finds herself on a blind date with a happy-go-lucky quadriplegic.

In sitcom style, Panes dispatches these contrived set-ups in about 15 minutes apiece, with lots of not-so-witty repartee but precious little in the way of substance or character development.

In this case, the title “Not Theater” might have made more sense.

* “Not Opera: An Evening of Love and Loathing,” the Coast Playhouse, 8325 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood. Mondays-Tuesdays, 8 p.m. Ends Oct. 11. $15. (213) 466-1767. Running time: 1 hour, 20 minutes.

Lost Studio Delivers an Unfocused Satire

The creators of “Bitch,” at Lost Studio in Hollywood, look to be co-opting that offensive term in much the same way the gay community has taken back (and thus neutralized) the word “queer.”

If only the rest of the show reflected such in-your-face confidence. For the most part, this is an unfocused and tremendously uneven gender satire that never quite finds its own voice.

Co-writers Beth Hollander and Sarah Koskoff play all the roles in a dozen or so skits, most of them concerned with women in the entertainment industry.

As performers, the duo are, like Eric Bogosian, masters at parodying people who unwittingly parody themselves. Hollander, for instance, deftly lampoons a Hollywood agent obsessed with the grotesque particulars of cosmetic surgery, while Koskoff skewers a hyperactive stage actress who keeps interrupting rehearsal with asides about technique.

Despite a running time of just over an hour, the show feels insubstantial and padded. Director Robin Katz allows some bits--for instance, a tiresome scenario involving a three-way Monopoly game--to drag on interminably, while other scenes remain underwritten.

Yet even a critical viewer can be won over by the show’s personal, self-deprecating tone. During one of many ad-libs during set changes, Koskoff suddenly approached an audience member and asked: “Who do you like better, Beth or me?”.

* “Bitch,” Lost Studio, 130 S. La Brea Ave., Hollywood. Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m. Ends Sept. 24. $16. (213) 660-8587. Running time: 1 hour, 15 minutes.

‘Uta Hagen’ Strictly for Drama Students

Drama students may appreciate the antics of “Who’s Afraid of Uta Hagen?,” a broad send-up of method acting at the Haunted Studios in Hollywood. But other viewers are probably going to leave the theater scratching their heads--or just leave the theater, period.

In a clever stroke, writer-directors Gary Ellenberg and Sean Fenton have set their “new play about old theater” in the fictional Pasadena Institute of Drama Therapy, where an extended family of actors is undergoing treatment for what looks like a bad case of adolescent pretension.

What follows is a seemingly endless string of dorky inside jokes directed at method guru Hagen and various plays in the dramatic canon, including “Hamlet,” “Threepenny Opera,” “Annie,” even poor old “Harvey” (is it possible to do a back-story on a 6-foot rabbit?).

Generally haphazard direction gives the cast free rein to indulge in grating, over-the-top performances, most of which can’t help making method look good.

* “Who’s Afraid of Uta Hagen?,” Haunted Studios, 6419 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood. Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m. Ends Oct. 8. $12. (213) 782-4082. Running time: 1 hour, 50 minutes.