‘Baldpate’: An Old Relic Plods Along

For reasons unfathomable, Theatre Unlimited has christened its new home in the Complex with “Seven Keys to Baldpate,” George M. Cohan’s 1913 mystery spoof.

If theater historians or community impresarios can find value in this Progressive Era relic, great. But--at least in the current production--Cohan’s trifle is about as stage-worthy as a Bull Moose campaign button.

Steve Sturm plays Magee, a popular novelist who, on a bet, holes up in a deserted mountain resort and resolves to write a book in a day. But the drafty lodge only seems deserted--actually a number of possibly corrupt townsfolk have keys, and that’s when the fun is supposed to begin, complete with a hokey O. Henry-like reversal at the final curtain.

If there is a subtext here, the cast manages to miss it, with one-note performances all around: Barry Grayson is a crotchety Yankee caretaker, Stevan Grubic a stiff-limbed henchman, Arnold Weiss a harrumphing parvenu, Sheila Reid a taciturn femme fatale. Coupled with the relentlessly plodding text, Mark McQuown’s direction all but induces sleep.

* “Seven Keys to Baldpate,” Theatre Unlimited, 6470 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood. Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m., Sundays, 3 p.m. Indefinitely. $12.50. (818) 788-9038. Running time: 2 hours, 5 minutes.