Multicultural Manners : Keeping the Peace for the Departed

Older family members reminisce. One asks, “What ever happened to Sam Goldstein?” Another answers, “Goldstein, alev ha-shalom? He passed away.”

Another says, “Do you remember Bessie Solomon, alev ha-shalom? Her daughter has been appointed as a judge.”

“How wonderful,” exclaims another. “And Hymie Weisman, alev ha-shalom? His son is running for Congress.”

Shelley, the 10-year-old who has been listening to her elders’ conversation, impatiently asks, “Who is this alev ha-shalom family you’re always talking about?”

The old-timers laugh.

What did it mean?

The youngster was unfamiliar with the language of her elders and of a common custom. In Hebrew, alev ha-shalom means “On him be peace,” and many Jews, particularly the older generation, say these words after they mention the names of the dead. Explanations vary, but most people believe that the words honor the dead and serve as a blessing.

The custom is widespread in Christianity and Islam as well. When Pakistan’s Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto spoke at UCLA, she said, “Rest in peace” when she mentioned the name Muhammad. In Latin American periodicals, the initials QEPD appear after the name of a deceased person. This means que en paz descanse (rest in peace). Cross-culturally, some people believe that if some such phrase is not used, the spirits of the dead might return to disturb the living.