A good gag is timeless:On Friday, the...

A good gag is timeless:

On Friday, the day before the 100th anniversary of George Burns’ birth, KNX-AM radio played part of an old Burns & Allen radio show. In the episode, George and Gracie bump into each other at a bakery. It seems that each had noticed a date circled on their calendar and thought the other put it there. Neither can figure out what the event is. They decide to buy a cake, but each is afraid to guess what should be inscribed on it. Finally, they tell the clerk to decorate it with candles only.

“Yeah, a hundred candles,” George says.

As they leave, the clerk says, “And happy birthday, sir.”

The show was recorded in 1949.

TALK ABOUT DARING PROPHETS: Word of the impending divorce of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley was no surprise to some members of the Berkeley Psychic Institute, which bills itself as “the oldest institution of clairvoyant studies.”

At the institute’s annual meeting in November, about one-tenth of the 300 psychics in attendance predicted Jackson and Presley would part ways in the new year.

“When we see 20 or 30 people seeing the same things, we know that’s something that’s about to manifest itself,” explained clairvoyant Jodi MacMillan, an editor of the institute’s newspaper, who added that Jackson is probably sharing his body with an alien spirit.

Wonder how many of the psychics predicted the duo would have a long and happy marriage and have 10 children?

GRAVE CRIMES: Last November, a letter from the city of Los Angeles arrived at the former home of Dorothy Trowbridge in Lakewood, informing her that she had not paid an Oct. 6, 1995, parking ticket. What was strange about this was that Trowbridge died in 1992. “This is a very serious matter and requires your immediate attention,” the city Parking Bureau insisted.

Trowbridge’s attorney sent along a certified copy of her death certificate, but the suspicious parking agency refused to drop the matter. The bureau curtly wrote back that if the late Mrs. Trowbridge did not request a hearing from the city within 15 days, she would “forfeit the right to a hearing.”

Her attorney, Stan Kelton, said: “My next step may be to have the city direct future correspondence to her to Rose Hills Memorial Park.”

THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO COPE: Radio shrinks Leslie Pam and Ann Christie told their listeners Friday that they’d be back after a station break with a big announcement. Which was: “We’ve been fired!” They were, however, allowed to finish the last hour of their show, during which callers, in a reversal of roles, comforted them--”Keep your spirits up,” etc., etc. Traffic reporter David Courtney even quoted his mentor, Gary Owens: “You haven’t been in radio until you’ve been fired.”

miscelLAny A Pico Boulevard landmark, which we had never seen before, is the colorful mural on the inside of West L.A.’s Talpa restaurant (see detail). What caught our eye is the airliner making an L.A.-to-Mexico City flight while towing a bit of fuel--a bottle of Coors. We’re no clairvoyant but we see it making a splash upon arrival.