Food for thought:The New York Post’s Page...

Food for thought:

The New York Post’s Page 6 column predicts big things for Bill Clinton--”such as an expanding waistline.” And we’re proud to say that L.A. chefs have contributed some of the calories.

The New Republic and American Spectator magazines note that the hungry president enjoyed several banquet-size meals while on the road during his campaign. Nor was he put off by a vegetarian meal served at a fund-raiser here with the health-conscious Hollywood crowd. Clinton reportedly cleaned his plate and had some extra helpings--for beginners.

“Afterward,” American Spectator reports, “a Clinton aide was dispatched to the popular House of Blues nightclub for two orders of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and pecan pie.”

ADVENTURES IN DINING: A reader sent us a menu from a Northridge eatery that has not been visited by President Clinton, as far as we know. Perhaps the “breaks all the rules” angle might appeal to Clinton (see excerpt).

SURE, THE CANDIDATES LEFT SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED . . . : We recently mentioned the polling place that had a “Just Say No” sign near the entrance. Now, Steve Tye of Diamond Bar has forwarded a shot of a sign placed “outside our elementary school, which was doubling as a polling place” (see photo). Asks Tye: “A result of too much negative advertising?”

ANOTHER REASON TO LIVE IN THE SOUTHLAND: The new Beach Cities Cinema movieplex in El Segundo will make complimentary pagers available to patrons who have left their kids at home with a baby-sitter. Don’t panic--these are silent pagers.

Should a sitter phone the theaters, the operator will activate the pager, which vibrates soundlessly, so as not to disturb other spectators.

Fine. Now if the movieplex will also frisk patrons for cell phones, which would be confiscated until the feature is over . . .

DOLE DRUMS: You have to feel sorry for The Rodent, “the official underground publication” for lawyers, which is published in West L.A.

Battling a copy deadline, The Rodent’s anonymous editor took a gamble and led with this headline:

“Dole Wins!!! Stunning Victory Attributed to Stand on Lawyers.”

The Rodent reported that Dole’s comeback was the result of his response to a question about legal reforms during the first debate: “I like lawyers. I’m a lawyer. My wife’s a lawyer.”

We’ll never know the truth of The Rodent’s exclusive that Dole planned to run a presidency like a law firm, with these features:

* Presidential powers would be distributed “among 30 or 40 individuals, all with equal votes and conflicting interests.”

* The United States would provide military assistance to other nations on a contingency basis, collecting 33% of the booty if the client nation wins the war, nothing if it loses.

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Annual subscription rates for The Rodent range from $300 for managing partners of law firms to $25 for “puny partners,” $20 for Supreme Court justices, $18 for judges and professors, and $16 for kids under 12, disbarred attorneys and prison inmates (excluding former managing partners).