In search of clarity:Gary Bolen, a drama...

In search of clarity:

Gary Bolen, a drama instructor at College of the Canyons in Santa Clarita, recently received a piece of mail that was addressed to “Santa Clarity Community College.”

That boo-boo, he says, was mild compared to the name tag he was given years ago when he represented Antelope Valley College at a conference in San Francisco.

The tag said: “Cantaloupe Valley College.”

YOU’RE GOING TOO FAST IF YOU CAN TASTE THE ROAD: After seeing our newspaper spread of crazy speed limit signs, ranging from 9 1/2 mph to 27 mph, Susan Mack wrote that she’s come across similarly offbeat warnings in Silverado Canyon in Orange County. One of her favorites, posted on a twisting, unpaved private road, said: “Speed Limit = No Dust.”

UNSAFE AT ANY SPEED: Ray Ebbets of Sylmar found a directional sign in the parking lot of a high school that seemed to challenge motorists to test their cars against a brick wall. Let’s hope driver’s ed classes aren’t held there.

LAWYERS ON PARADE: With the clock running out on 1996, California Lawyer magazine has published its verdict on the year’s “Legal Follies.” Some excerpts:

* An L.A. attorney and Grateful Dead fan “sued his office mate for causing him humiliation, mental anguish, and emotional and physical distress for hanging a handmade cardboard tombstone” in the office the day Jerry Garcia died. The tombstone read: “R.I.P./Jerry Garcia (a few too many parties perhaps?)”

* Two diners filed a $5-million suit against McDonald’s in L.A. County Superior Court, claiming they were “verbally harassed and then doused with mustard by a McDonald’s employee.” Contrast them with Pleasanton resident Doug Bosma, “who tripped on a faulty city sidewalk and asked only that the city pay him $25 for a new pair of jeans.”

* And, finally, L.A. Superior Court tried “charging lawyers sales tax on photocopies” earlier this year, only to discover the practice “was illegal.” California Lawyer magazine’s comment: The court let itself off “with a stern warning.”

AN ACTOR WHO WAS IN THE NEWS FOR THE RIGHT REASONS: The Times received a note from the Lost Dog’s Home of Melbourne, Australia, which had an interesting tale. The home has just unveiled a memorial plaque honoring American stage actor Robert Capron, who drowned in that country Sept. 22, 1935, while attempting to rescue his dog, Nonie. The animal had fallen into a river during a heavy rainstorm. The note didn’t explain the late timing of the tribute.

The dog, it turned out, was saved by another actor, Peter Finch, later to become a motion picture star.

The name of the play in which Capron was appearing, incidentally, was: “So, This is Hollywood.”

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Digital City L.A., a cyber-feature of America Online, invites users to transmit their photos, which will be showcased in a “gallery.” The editors say the gallery includes hundreds of shots of “people like you (only more interesting).” Oh, go suck a cantaloupe.