If it’s not one disaster . ....

If it’s not one disaster . . .

Volcano Burger in Long Beach hasn’t had any lava problems. Or even earthquake problems. But the eatery did suffer another calamity--a truck driver crashed into the building on Artesia Boulevard, forcing its closure for four weeks.

Owner Hwaja Yoon is understandably happy to be open again, especially with the movie “Volcano” out. “A lot of people come in and ask for a Volcano Burger,” says Yoon. Alas, the dish isn’t on the menu. So what does she do? “We give them one that’s charbroiled,” she said.

SURE, PARKING IS SCARCE: But until we saw Michael Berick’s photo, we didn’t know the city was down to just one legal parking space (see snapshot). Berick noticed the spot in the Fairfax district near the corner of . . . wait a minute, why should we tell you? We might need that space some time.

MYSTERY OF THE DAY: After we mentioned our puzzlement over the license plate DUI XPRT, we received a note from Sue Kamm, who said: “I’ll wager the person driving the car . . . is a librarian.” Kamm guessed the DUI referred to the Dewey Decimal System of classification in libraries.

A CAR WITH NO EXTRAS: In Santa Monica, Walter Renzi photographed a vehicle that’s a throwback to the old days when drivers didn’t rely on electronic means to signal their intentions. (Not that finger salutes have ever gone out of style . . . )

THIS JUST IN! We received a phone call from Paul Kayne of Chatsworth, owner of the DUI XPRT plate. He said it has spawned some wild theories. Once when he parked where his wife is employed, another worker announced they were being visited by “someone advertising he’s an expert drunk driver.”

Kayne, of course, is no such thing. Nor is he a defense lawyer--or a librarian. He’s a criminalist who’s an expert witness in drunk-driving cases.

HE RATTLED OUR CAGES: Mike Royko, the syndicated columnist who died the other day, will always be identified with his hometown of Chicago. But he also was the writer who coined the nickname that dogged California’s Jerry Brown for much of his political career--”Governor Moonbeam.”

The columnist loved to poke fun at the unorthodox lifestyles in this state, as with his recommendation that the government “build a fence around California to keep the lunatics from infecting the rest of the country.”

He also wrote that historians will one day agree that the decline of civilization began with the introduction of fish tacos and sushi at Jack Murphy Stadium in San Diego.

It’s obvious, then, that we should be grateful to Royko--for all he may have done to stop residents in the East and Midwest from migrating to Southern California.

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After reading our item about Father Joseph Shea performing a group blessing of cars at Holy Family Church in Glendale, Jim Chilton had an idea. Chilton writes that, “considering how tough it is for a parish to raise funds,” perhaps Father Shea should add a little spray wax to the holy water “and then pass the collection plate” in the parking lot.

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles 90053.