Wide World of Weird

A weekly roundup of unusual news stories from around the globe, compiled from Times wire services:

Postal Efficiency Update: A letter that took 8 1/2 years to be delivered arrived at a Massachusetts eyeglasses store last week, with a 25-cent stamp, two postmarks from 1989 and a very yellowed envelope. It was found by postal workers tearing up some floorboards. “It literally fell through a crack,” a spokesman said.

Armored Cabs: Taxi drivers in drug violence-plagued Chihuahua, Mexico, have begun armor-plating their cabs. A newspaper says the protective driver’s booths can stop bullets from AK-47s.

An Escape That Wasn’t: An all-points bulletin about three men dressed in Day-Glo orange on a wooden boat downriver from the county jail sent New Jersey police--along with scent-tracking dogs and a helicopter--on a wild goose chase this week. The three men turned out to be federal scientists collecting water samples from the Hackensack River. And what looked like prisoner jumpsuits were nylon jackets and pants. “It’s not such a good idea to dress like an inmate if you’re hanging around a jail,” an undersheriff said.

Iraq Footnote: Operation Toasty Toes is bringing multicolored slippers to the 400-member crew of a U.S. destroyer in the Persian Gulf. One of the sailors’ grandmothers started the drive, which has grown to 50 needle-wielding volunteers in Ohio. “It’s very cold there at night,” she said. “Those ships have metal floors.”

More Cab Problems: Crime is down in New York City, but injuries involving taxis have jumped nearly two-thirds this decade, according to state officials. To crack down on the notoriously wild maneuvering of city cabbies, a legislator wants to place “How’s My Driving?” bumper stickers and phone numbers on cabs.

Fish-Cam: A Minnesota man is selling a tiny underwater video camera to let fishermen peer at their prey. The $1,500 camera is wired to a 5 1/2-inch TV monitor. But some lawmakers want to ban the device, saying it gives anglers an unfair edge.

Kris Kringle Impostor: An 8-year-old Tucson boy who was locked out of the house by his 11-year-old brother tried to sneak in Santa Claus-style, but got stuck in the chimney. Officials said the boy climbed onto the roof and made it about 10 feet down the chimney before he hit the damper. The older brother called 911. Rescuers dropped a rope down the chimney and the would-be Santa emerged uninjured and covered with soot.

Seafaring Kitty: A British cat named Nelson stowed away in a van that later drove onto a ferry bound for the feline’s former home on a remote Scottish island. Coincidence? Maybe not. A pet behavior counselor said, “It is highly probable that the van had the smell of the island on it and reminded the cat of his old home.”

Quick Hits:

* Most business travelers would rather sit next to a co-worker than their boss on plane flights--and younger travelers want to be farthest from the boss, according to a Harris survey.

* A group of Oregon prisoners escaped their cells Sunday and headed straight for . . . the commissary. They stole a bunch of candy bars, then returned to jail.

* A Montreal newspaper columnist has outraged the city’s Japanese community with articles from the Nagano Olympics that mock, among other things, the “slanted eyes” of the Japanese.

* A teacher who forced a first-grader to lick a cafeteria table was docked three days’ pay by a Georgia school board. The incident began when the child spit the milk on a table.

* Footage from an upcoming movie about two brothers who stumble onto $4 million in a plane crash and decide to keep the money . . . was lost on a Northwest Airlines flight.

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* Wide World of Weird is published every Friday. Off-Kilter appears Monday through Thursday.