LAUGH LINES

Cutting Him Off: “President Clinton said he will not let George W. Bush have any money to pay for the transition. . . . Normally, they get money for the new guy. [But] they’re not giving him any money. . . . In fact, to add insult to injury, instead of Secret Service protection, Bush was given a can of Mace and [told], ‘Hey, you’re on your own.’ ” (Jay Leno)

In the Works: “Author Jeffrey Toobin is already working on a book about the election fiasco. . . . It’s called ‘The Making . . . Then Unmaking . . . Then Making . . . Then Unmaking of a President.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Asking for Trouble: “Secretary of State Katherine Harris . . . wants to run for Senate from Florida [after the presidential election chaos dies down]. And I’m thinking, ‘Well sure, that’s what you want to do is get yourself involved in another Florida election. That is exactly what you want to do. Of course!’ ” (David Letterman)

Trying to Get Along: “George W. Bush has plead unity. He said he wants Republicans and Democrats to work together. Republicans and Democrats working together? Have you heard Bush talk? His brain and his mouth can’t work together.” (Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.