PIGSKIN PROPHECIES

It seems like only yesterday that Tyler Ebell was gaining the first of his 4,218 yards and I was plucking my first prognosticating pigeon, but the last week of the season has arrived. This is effectively known as the Last Slaughter among the ink-stained rabble, who have offered crusty veteran Tom LaMarre as its final sacrifice. LaMarre pulled himself away from the golf course long enough to tee up some football picks. Look for him to shank them into the trees. See you next year.

The Prophet

Season totals for the Prophet: 140 of 187 (75%), 224 points

Tom LaMarre

Season totals for the guests: 127 of 187 (68%), 187 points

GAME OF THE WEEK (5 points)

Hart vs. Mira Costa at College of the Canyons

THE PROPHET SAYS: Hart hasn’t played anyone. I know this because Coach Mike Herrington didn’t nominate any opposing players for the All-Valley team. Considering the no-talent bums Hart must have faced, is it any wonder the Indians are playing for another Southern Section title? Hart, 30-14.

LaMARRE SAYS: The Indians are almost unbeatable on their home field, where they have won three of their five Southern Section championships. Kyle Matter will be unstoppable in his last game, giving Coach Mike Herrington a third consecutive title. Hart, 24-13.

OTHER TOP GAMES (each 3 points)

Ventura at Arroyo Grande

THE PROPHET SAYS: Everyone, it seems, has caught Tyler Ebell fever. It has gotten so bad that Eric Sondheimer is wearing a replica of the Ventura tailback’s No. 2 jersey around the office. He darts between desks on his cookie runs to the cafeteria. Ventura, 35-24.

LaMARRE SAYS: Arroyo Grande might slow Tyler Ebell for a while but once he gets his legs after the long bus ride, the yards, touchdowns and records will come in bunches and the Cougars will be well on their way to the championship. Ventura, 35-21.

*

St. Bonaventure vs. Orange Lutheran at Ventura High

THE PROPHET SAYS: St. Bonny Coach Jon Mack, obviously giddy for the big game, has told people he’d like to get me alone in a room. Frankly, I didn’t know he cared. Although flattered, I’d just like to remain pen pals. St. Bonaventure, 73-2.

LaMARRE SAYS: It’s time for Coach Jon Mack to take his program to another level and see if the Seraphs can compete with the big boys in the Marmonte and Channel leagues--which they probably can. The Fat Lady will sing in this one soon after the national anthem. St. Bonaventure, 55-6.

*

Montclair Prep vs. Paraclete at Valley College

THE PROPHET SAYS: The Division XII final should be billed as the Clash of the Tiny Titans. Montclair Prep and RB Gary Sonkur finally have enough firepower to turn the tables on longtime nemesis Paraclete, led by RB-FS Michael Washington. Montclair Prep, 36-32.

LaMARRE SAYS: Paraclete probably won’t be able to contain Gary Sonkur, but the Spirits will come at Montclair Prep from all directions with Curtis Brown, Erick Jackson and Michael Washington. I’ll take three against one every time. Montclair Prep, 35-31.

THE REST (1 point each)

* City Championship--Banning vs. Carson at the Coliseum: The Prophet: Carson, 35-20. LaMarre: Banning, 21-20.

* Div. I--Long Beach Poly vs. Loyola at Edison Field: The Prophet: Long Beach Poly, 28-20. LaMarre: Loyola, 21-17.

* Div. II--Chino vs. Upland at Citrus College: The Prophet: Upland, 30-24. LaMarre: Upland, 35-17.

* Div. V--Corona Centennial at Elsinore: The Prophet: Elsinore, 36-28. LaMarre: Centennial, 28-24.

* Div. VI--Irvine at Newport Harbor: The Prophet: Irvine, 21-14. LaMarre: Newport Harbor, 31-20.

* Div. VII--Charter Oak vs. Los Altos at Citrus College: The Prophet: Los Altos, 31-28. LaMarre: Charter Oak, 21-20.

* Div. VIII--Barstow at La Quinta: The Prophet: La Quinta, 27-21. LaMarre: La Quinta, 20-17.

* Div. IX--La Habra vs. South Hills at Covina District Stadium: The Prophet: South Hills, 30-24. LaMarre: South Hills, 28-26.

* Div. X--Paso Robles vs. Inglewood at El Camino College: The Prophet: Paso Robles, 31-26. LaMarre: Inglewood, 21-16.

* Div. XIII--Aquinas vs. Pasadena Poly at Pasadena City College: The Prophet: Aquinas, 36-14. LaMarre: Aquinas, 41-14.