Thrust Into an Unbelievably Stark Reality

Jay Mariotti in the Chicago Sun-Times: “Imagine playing in the same town where you tripped Scottie Pippen, karate-kicked B.J. Armstrong, tried to low-bridge Michael Jordan and helped ignite a wild brawl in which a 5-4 female fan cussed you out.

“Imagine being John Starks, maybe the biggest sports rat there ever was in Chicago, wearing the [Bull] uniform you literally spat on. And now being booed every time you touched the ball in the United Center.

“Every single time. ‘I never thought I would be a Bull,’ he said. ‘I can’t lie to you. This is not the place I want to be.’ ”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA record for the highest free-throw percentage in a season?

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Indelible statistic: Harvey Pollack’s “NBA Statistical Yearbook” includes a list of the 141 NBA players with visible tattoos, according to the Philadelphia Inquirer.

The 76ers and Portland Trail Blazers were the league leaders with nine tattooed players apiece in the 1999 season.

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Triplett who? Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune: “Nobody wins a tournament that [Tiger] Woods enters. Woods loses the tournament, and whatever name is scrawled or etched on the trophy has at least an invisible Tiger asterisk; in this case [Nissan Open], *’Tiger lost because the greens were bumpy.’ ”

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Oh, no! “I’d like to see Bob Denver buy the New York Islanders,” said Russ Reynolds, production director of KFOX-FM in San Jose, “so we could call them Gilligan’s Islanders.”

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What’s your score? Jerry Greene in the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel: “You’re getting old if: (3) You watch the Weather Channel; (2) You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore; (1) You hear your favorite song on an elevator.”

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Carried away: Cincinnati radio personality Bill Cunningham on the Reds obtaining Ken Griffey Jr.:

“For a thousand years, Cincinnati will shine as the brightest star. Griffey has lit a thermonuclear fuse, fallout from which will cover the town forever and ever.”

Sounds dangerous.

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Ultimate insult: Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News: “They keep saying it’ll get worse for John Rocker, but how much worse can it get than being called ‘an idiot’ by David Wells?”

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Trivia answer: Calvin Murphy of Houston, .958, 1980-81.

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And finally: Rasheed Wallace of the Portland Trail Blazers played in his first All-Star game in Oakland--and said he wished he was someplace else.

“But it’s part of the job. I’ve got to do it. The thing I hate about it is the traffic and when you go to a restaurant, it takes an extra 15-20 minutes for the food to come.”

Comment from Jorge L. Ortiz of the San Francisco Examiner: “The poor, oppressed soul.”