LAUGH LINES

Climbing the Charts: Sean “Puffy” Combs was charged with criminal possession of a weapon after he and Jennifer Lopez were taken into custody by police in New York. “They’re the No. 1 musical duo with a bullet.” (Daily Scoop)

Black Holes in Space: “The Hubbell Space Telescope got a new computer brain that will make it smarter and more effective. Now, if they could do that with some of the NASA scientists, they might be able to find the Mars Polar Lander.” (Gary Greenfield)

*

Chris Pina’s Essential Daily List

Overheard During Times Square’s New Year’s Eve Celebration

* “I can hardly wait till they drop the giant crack ball!”

* “I think I just hugged a dead guy.”

* “Doesn’t Dick Clark look great for his third millennium?”

* “Hi, I’m Hillary and I want to be your next senator.”

* “Ah, that’s not Champagne you stepped in.”

* “I think I mistakenly lanced Giuliani with my party hat.”

* “I just found out my date’s not Y2K compliant.”

* “Look! The ATM is spitting out 20s like nobody’s business!”

* “Whaddaya say, one last grope for ‘99?”

* “Taxi!”

*

Send us a line: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.