Guilty Conscience Causing Nightmare

Dear Cynthia: Six months ago, I had to put my mother in a nursing home after she had a debilitating stroke. (She’s very young, only 57 at the time.) Since then, I have experienced this recurring dream; it occurs in the three-bedroom San Fernando Valley house I grew up in. Each bedroom is occupied by a person who has incurred brutal injuries. All three appear to be adult versions of kids I grew up with in my neighborhood. It is more disturbing because the people in the dreams are semi-conscious despite their wounds. For some reason, I am trying to keep other people out of the house for fear they will suspect I did this to these individuals. Do you have any insights?

--H.M.

Hesperia

Dear H.M.: The meaning of your dream indicates that the decision to put your mother in a nursing home, no matter how necessary, is taking a psychological toll on you. When our childhood home appears in a dream, the dream usually pertains to home and family or to things learned during those formative years.

The injured former neighbors refer to your mother and the crippling stroke she had. Bedrooms in dreams are symbolic of the activities that take place in them--such as healing and recuperation. It seems you can’t escape this anxiety and guilt--every room contains a reminder. The people in your dream, like your mother, are still somewhat cognizant of what is going on. Yet your mother may not be fully aware of why you have made the decision to put her into a home. You say that it is “disturbing” that the people are still semi-conscious. Perhaps it would seem less disturbing and more kind if your mother didn’t recall or recognize anything since she is not fully functional, but this is the nature of a stroke. Since you try to keep others out of the home, you may feel unjustly judged by your actions.

You did not cause your mother’s stroke. Adult children put in the decision-making position often feel alone, responsible and even guilty. Talking with others who have similar circumstances can help. Your local hospital may have a support group or referrals.

Cynthia Richmond’s book “Dream Power: How to Use Your Night Dreams to Change Your Life” (Simon & Schuster) will be available later this month and may be pre-ordered at Amazon.com. Fax your dreams to Cynthia Richmond at (213) 237-0732 or e-mail them to in.your.dreams@worldnet.att.net. Please include your hometown and a daytime phone number. “In Your Dreams” appears every Tuesday and should be read for entertainment purposes only.