Relatively Speaking, Lakers Got Off Easy

Dan Barreiro of the Minneapolis Star Tribune writes that Christina Rice, Glen Rice’s wife, sounded not unlike the mother of Christian Laettner, who once played for the Timberwolves.

“For one short stretch, Bonnie Laettner seemed to average an interview an hour. She babbled to newspaper reporters. She babbled to TV reporters. She showed up on radio talk shows.

“All to explain just how misunderstood and mistreated her poor son really was, and what a pity it was that the organization did not know what it had in Christian.”

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Trivia time: Who is the oldest player to win the U.S. Open?

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No enchanted island: Bill Conlin in the Philadelphia Daily News: “When I’m King of the World, the TV hit ‘Survivor’ will do a special ‘Sports Survivor’ series.

“Dropped off on that Gilligan’s Island will be Bob Clarke, Ed Snider, Carl Lindros, Bobby Knight, Tonya Harding, John Rocker, Allen Iverson and Lawrence Phillips.

“I like Rocker eliminating Knight in the final.”

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A young Tiger? GolfWorld Magazine reports that Christopher Tuulik aced the 81-yard, par-three fourth hole at the Mission Bay Golf Center in San Diego. He used a three-wood. Then again, he’s only 5 years old.

This reportedly ties the record for the youngest golfer to record a hole in one.

At the other end of the age scale, 90-year-old Margaret Dewberry shot 90 at Forest Hills Golf Club in Augusta, Ga. According to record books, she became the second nonagenarian woman to shoot her age.

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Right on! Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “As a Giants hitter came to the plate, TV viewer Phillip Otto, 5, of Mill Valley turned to his friend and announced: ‘His name is Barry Bombs. He hits bombs into the Bay.’ ”

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Self-promotion: “Monday Night Football” needs to be more entertaining, Kansas City Star columnist Jason Whitlock says, so he listed five candidates to be the color commentator, including Rush Limbaugh, Jim Rome, Terry Bradshaw and columnist/talk show host Tony Kornheiser.

His No. 5? “Jason Whitlock. One of the sexiest men in America over 250 pounds.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1975, Boston Red Sox rookie Fred Lynn drove in 10 runs with three home runs, a triple and a single in a 15-1 victory over the Detroit Tigers.

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Trivia answer: Hale Irwin, 45, in 1990.

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And finally: Here’s a Don Klosterman story told by a friend at his wake Monday at Bel-Air Country Club. Klosterman died last week at 70.

The friend said 20 years ago he and Klosterman were talking to two young women, who asked their ages. Klosterman said 60.

“Gee, you look great for 60,” one of the women said.

Later, the friend said, “Don you’re only 50. Why did you tell them 60.”

“Because I don’t look that great for 50,” Klosterman said.