Hollywood Can Send Positive Lessons to Kids

With all of the talk in the media recently about Hollywood selling kids on violence, I find myself saying, “No, duh.” Look in any direction and you’re sure to find someone to blame for the demise of our young people’s souls--neglectful parents, movie theater managers who let 12-year-olds into R-rated films, and the motion picture industry for making the films in the first place.

And granted, as a parent, I often find myself in the quandary of judging what’s acceptable on the morality scale for my young children’s sensibilities. I personally like pop music, but if I buy a Britney Spears CD will my 6-year-old daughter be asking for a tummy-bearing tank top for Christmas? And if my son walks in on me watching my favorite soap and catches a glimpse of a love scene, what do I tell him?

I’m starting to figure out that I can’t put my kids’ eyes out or plug their ears, and blaming a group of entertainment executives far away in Burbank isn’t helping either. I go to great lengths to protect my children’s innocence, but in those moments when they slip out of my grasp and venture into the world on their own, the best I can do is equip them with common sense.

Oddly enough, I’m more concerned with a greater evil that exists in children’s media, which is the subtle conditioning about general life issues we all grapple with. There are several recurring themes that disturb me.

One of the most common is, “Having a new sibling will make you jealous and feel insecure about your parents’ love for you.” It seems as if every time I turn on “Barney and Friends” or “Rug Rats,” or open a book about a new little brother or sister for junior, the message always exaggerates feelings an older sibling may or may not have. “Now that the new baby’s here, my Daddy just doesn’t have time for me,” moans a cartoon character as his troubled friends look on.

Granted the intention of the program is to walk a child through real feelings that can accompany the “invasion” of a new baby. But why can’t they show another side of the sibling relationship?

I’d love to see a program that portrays positive interaction between a 4-year-old and a newborn. There could be “fast forwards” of the children who become the best of friends once they are older. Or make a cartoon about how fun it is to have a new baby in the house, as my own daughter experienced this spring with the arrival of our third child.

The 1999 pop single, “Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen)” narrowed in on this perfectly with simple but wise lyrics: “Be nice to your siblings, they’re the closest link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.” The fact that teens and young adults heard the song and benefited from its message is a good thing.

If you’re under 5 in America, the media want to convince you that a new sibling is a thorn in the side of your self-esteem, and woe to you as you temporarily take the back burner in your parents’ attention span.

More Pressure on Parents

It puts pressure on parents to perform the Herculean task of pumping up the first child while confronted with the consuming task of a new baby. Frankly, after birthing my second and then third child, I was just trying to get four hours of sleep at a time, let alone worry about “damaging” my oldest. Second, it makes the first child believe he is entitled to his parents’ unyielding devotion, no matter what life brings the family. Not only does this set the child up for disappointment, but it’s not a realistic indicator of what life with a sibling will be--sharing, waiting turns, and sometimes fending for one’s self.

That’s not to say I advocate neglecting the oldest child--I myself am the oldest of four.

I’ve also had my daughter bring home a few books from the library whose messages are questionable. One was about a substitute teacher and how much fun it would be to wreak havoc in the classroom.

Another book featured a “short” girl, and described the various ways in which she was taunted by schoolmates. It was full of name-calling and smart-aleck retorts. Is this really educational and inspiring material for first-graders?

There is so much opportunity to teach children through entertainment, and yet some of these “lessons” aren’t really necessary. We could be shooting for higher-up-on-the-food-chain themes: Love your siblings, respect your teacher, and better yet, value and appreciate your parents.

Hollywood doesn’t have to be the bad guy. It’s simply time it reveals to children who the good guys really are.