Uncustomary Treatment Irks Raptors’ Oakley

Jeff Gordon in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: “Toronto is a fabulous city and a great place for athletes to play. But it is in Canada, and that makes it too much for Raptor forward Charles Oakley to bear.

“Oakley ripped into the NBA for deciding to expand there in the first place. ‘They don’t care about the team,’ he whined. ‘It’s not easy getting back into the States all the time. You got to go through customs, get checked by dogs.’ ”

What’s the alternative, Charles? A 9-to-5 job at minimum wage?

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Trivia time: Who is the only player to lose the Masters tournament in a playoff twice?

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Inviting indigestion, or worse: NASCAR driver Elliott Sadler holds a nonracing record that could last a while. In 1992 at South Boston (Va.) Speedway, Sadler ate 16 bologna burgers--fried slices of bologna on a bun--during a six-hour span.

“They were all with onion and mustard and stuff like that,” he said. “I was a crew member for my brother [Hermie]. But I guess I wasn’t doing much work on the car because I was eating bologna burgers.”

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Whatever you say: Defensive end Simeon Rice, after signing a free-agent deal with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

“There’s excitement on [Warren Sapp’s] behalf, and on the team’s behalf. And with all those behalves in mind, we can make this one great magnanimous situation.”

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Nothing to it: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “Hideo Nomo has pitched no-hitters at Coors Field and Camden Yards. Now he’s ready for something easy like, say, memorizing the New York City phone book.”

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More Armstrong: “The XFL has decided to call its championship game the ‘Million Dollar Game.’ According to sources, the other finalist was the ‘Hundred Viewer Game.’ ”

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That soft? Frustrated Charlotte Hornet Coach Paul Silas on his team: “We’re soft as tissue paper. Guys pick it up and we run and hide. Guys have to grow up.

“Right now, I don’t have guys that are very tough, that’s just the way it is.”

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Financial crisis: Thanks to his $252-million contract, Texas Ranger shortstop Alex Rodriguez “makes $40,000 every time he gets up to bat,” Jay Leno says. “In fact, Saturday night when he set his clock ahead, it cost him $28,000.”

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Trivia answer: Ben Hogan lost in playoffs to Byron Nelson in 1942 and Sam Snead in 1954. He won the Masters in 1951 and 1953.

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And finally: Nick Van Exel, the temperamental former Laker now with the Denver Nuggets, was recently fined $90,937 for failure to attend practices and shoot-arounds.

Van Exel can afford the fine because he reportedly has a $9.26-million salary.

“But money doesn’t make me happy every day,” he told Mark Kiszla of the Denver Post. “Just because I’ve got money in my pocket, that doesn’t mean I’m always happy, or I don’t get frustrated, or I don’t get down.”