He’s Not Fit to Be a King in Eyes of These Followers

These people live among you:

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Brian Fleischer: “How dare you make fun of the Kings and their players? Do you want to go to the next hockey game? I’ll buy the ticket. I’d give anything to see you face to face and have you call me something. I’ll put it to you easy, T.J., you wouldn’t be writing the next day. You wouldn’t be writing anything for a long time. It would be hard to write anything in a full body cast. Come on, T.J., are you gonna take me up on it?”

Are you asking me out on a date?

Amcnpsxcrew: “i think u have no right to call hockey a stupid sport. if u dont like it just dont attend games. . .u are so ignorant of a man. .tats y everyone is calling u bad names.”

i would guess u are a Raider fan 2.

Eddie Munoz: “You’re terrible. If you have nothing to say good about the Kings, just go away.”

You’re terrible. If you have nothing good to say about me, just go away.

Michael Whalen: “You have no idea when it comes to hockey. . .I went to my first Kings’ game when I was two years old. . .”

. . .talk about your miserable childhood.

Fishw2heads: “This is a complaint about that (expletive) T.J. Simers covering the Kings. If you don’t like it, don’t cover it you stupid (expletive). In a city of wishy washy fans we don’t need a (expletive) sports writer whining about not being home to watch NYPD Blue. Go write for TV Guide you (expletive) moron.”

Of all the bad luck, the Kings’ first playoff game is scheduled at the same time as “Judge Judy.” I guess I’ll miss the game.

Steven Bochco: “Thanks for the plug. Enjoy the enclosed (NYPD Blue) episode at your leisure.”

Thanks. The “Flight of Fancy” was a winner. I’m seriously thinking of a career change--maybe writing for TV Guide. You know anybody there?

Brett Olson: “You and your take on hockey. You have deviated from the rectilinear path of ethical rectitude.”

Let this be a lesson to you, kids, if you play without a helmet.

Robert Foster: “Your article on the Kings was nothing short of a journalistic embarrassment. I know you won’t pass this on to your boss for fear he might fire you, and you’ve probably already pressed the delete button to get rid of my e-mail. I just wish I had the direct address to your boss so I could pass along my dissatisfaction with you as a writer.”

bill.dwyre@latimes.com

Brandon Chavez: “Please bring back Randy Harvey on Page two.”

I asked Randy, and he said, “I’m not a fan of [hockey].”

That’s randy.harvey@latimes.com

T.J. Miller: “Are you a comedian or a sports writer. If you’re a comedian you’re dead horrible. I’ve talked to a lot of Kings fans and we don’t see the humor in anything you write.”

Let me say--it’s an honor that you’ve chosen to name yourself after me.

Michael Goldberg: “I hope the next time you get to ride on the Kings’ team bus, Stu Grimson hip checks you right out the door.”

You and me both.

Bruce Konschuh: “Is your boss making you write junk about the Kings.”

Every time I write junk, it’s because the boss made me.

Jamie Przybylski: “You get to travel with the Kings, talk to the coach and players and even ride the team bus.”

Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.

RBVB: “After the Rob Blake trade you ripped the entire Kings’ management and called them the worst organization in LA sports history based on the feelings of one fan. I have reached the conclusion that you don’t know anything you write about and are not very intelligent.”

That was Plaschke.

Jeanne Turbow: “I just thought you should know I have cancelled my subscription to The Times because of your pathetic article about the Kings.”

Do you have me mixed up with Plaschke, too? Well, we’ll never know.

Louie Lam: “I bet the sissy you are you didn’t call any of the players a sissy to their faces, because they would have probably rearranged yours. These guys have more heart and guts in their fingers than you have brains.”

It’s true, I do lack brains in my fingers.

Beardog: “I’ve seen better columns on the bottom of bird cages.”

Then I don’t feel so bad.

James Feathers: “Does your hockey writer, Helene Elliott, get extra pay for babysitting you when you go to the games?”

Her request is pending.

Michael Mangan: “You’re writing about hockey! What’s next? Miniature golf with Dodger Boy?”

I’ve asked F.P. Santangelo if he’ll caddy for me.

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TODAY’S LAST WORD comes from Mark Rennie:

“I like the fact your column doesn’t appear every day.”

Finally, a positive e-mail.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at his e-mail address:t.j.simers@latimes.com