It Was Stanford That Had the Pie in the Face Again

Ann Killion of the San Jose Mercury News on UCLA’s 79-73 upset of Stanford on Saturday:

“This is the second year that UCLA has knocked off top-ranked Stanford at Maples Pavilion, which makes it harder to see the Gatorade bucket as half full.

“The smartest kid in the class never likes to be shown up by the class clown, certainly not two years in a row.”

Class clown? UCLA? With 11 NCAA titles? Surely, you jest, Ann.

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Trivia time: Who holds the Laker record for fouling out of a game the fastest?

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Showtime, baby: Rick Telander in the Chicago Sun-Times: “The NFL Pro Bowl was played Sunday in Hawaii, and darned if it didn’t look even more blah than usual, compared to the silliness of the dancing XFL cheerleaders (they’re all tease and no more authentic than Jesse Ventura), and the hyperactivity of the blabbering sideline reporters and color men.

“Of course the NFL plays real football. And, of course, the NFL could kick any XFL team’s butt. The thing is, the XFL is about appearance.”

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EXpendable: Leonard Shapiro in the Washington Post: “Shame on NBC. Shame on the network of the Olympics, Sarnoff and Garroway, Huntley and Brinkley, Gowdy and Costas for selling out to the dark side of gratuitous violence, tawdry titillation and lousy football, otherwise known as the XFL.

“Now we know what the X stands for. Brand X--and hardly worth wasting a perfectly decent Saturday to watch.”

Don’t hold back, Len. What did you really think?

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More on the XFL: Bernie Miklasz in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: “Much fuss has been made over the XFL’s cheerleaders. But dancing girls have been on the NFL sidelines for several decades.

“Granted, the XFL is taking the misogyny to more outrageous levels. But that’s as low as the lewdness can go--unless the Playboy Channel starts televising XFL games.”

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Without a prayer: The New York State Racing and Wagering Board delayed granting Yonkers Raceway a new license. Why? Because when the board asked the raceway what its emergency plan would be in the event of “fire, natural disaster or other acts of God,” the response was:

“We are developing a plan; presently, our No. 1 option is to say the rosary.”

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Homeless: When Pittsburgh’s Three Rivers Stadium is torn down this month, the legend of a fat rat named Lasorda will die along with the facility that housed the Pirates and Steelers for more than 30 years.

Lasorda--the rat that is--supposedly made its residence behind home plate and was spotted at times in the dugouts and the pricey seats right behind the plate.

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Growing boys: Blackie Sherrod in the Dallas Morning News: “Inflation note: On the Parade magazine All-American prep team, eight of 18 linemen topped 300 pounds.”

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Why not 13? Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “The weirdest superstition among the [NHL] all-stars? Flyer center Simon Gagne, who wears No. 12 on his sweater, tightens his laces on his skates with 12 minutes remaining in every period.”

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Trivia answer: Jim “Bad News” Barnes, six minutes, against Philadelphia on Dec. 2, 1966.

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And finally: New York Knick Coach Jeff Van Gundy, on Indiana Pacer fans, who baited Philadelphia’s Allen Iverson before he responded with a comment in a recent game:

“They dress nice, they appear to be nice, but they cross every bound of civility.”

And this, from Iverson’s former bodyguard, Terry Royster: “They may look respectable, but if you put a silk hat on a pig, it’s still a pig. That’s Indiana for me.”