Plenty of Nuttin’

Mike Noyes spent too long accumulating points for the Golf Nut of the Year award to let it slip away at the last second.

His resume already included such feats as chipping and putting a week after quintuple bypass surgery, playing 18 holes 1 1/2 months after the operation and spending more than $4,000 on 231 golf-related items on eBay.

But last year, Noyes finished second in the Golf Nuts Society’s annual contest when Nobby Orens of Encino slipped past him by playing in London, New York and Los Angeles on the same day.

To prevent another 11th-hour comeback, Noyes decided he needed to keep accumulating points until the last second.

Literally.

Just before midnight on Dec. 31, Noyes, 61, headed for Courreges Park near his Fountain Valley home.

He brought along his 10-year-old son Connor, a 60-degree lob wedge and a golf ball. Two seconds before midnight, he lofted the ball into the air. It landed at a second past midnight, thus traveling into the new millennium.

He earned 1,000 bonus points from the Golf Nuts Society, but it turns out he didn’t need them.

Noyes, who works for the Automobile Club of Southern California, ran away with the 2000 Golf Nut of the Year award, announced last week in Orlando, Fla. He finished the year with 51,895 nut points. Bob Scavetta of Pelham, N.Y., was second with 34,276.

“I knew I was close, but I didn’t know who was chasing me,” Noyes said. “After last year, I wanted to be sure.”

Noyes joins a select group of 14 who have won the award, a list that includes basketball great Michael Jordan, the 1989 winner. The title is based on points awarded by Ron Garland, who formed the Golf Nuts Society in 1986 and calls himself “The Head Nut.”

Garland doles out points based on, well, nutty behavior. Points accumulate over a lifetime of nuttiness.

Noyes, who spent $10,000 on a backyard chipping and putting green, owns more than 2,100 books on golf and has assembled an impressive collection of golf clubs new and old, more than qualified in 2000.

He joined the Golf Nuts Society in 1994, but didn’t think about winning until about three years ago.

“I absolutely did not set out to win the award,” Noyes said. “But I kept sneaking up the list and then I thought, ‘Well, maybe.’ ”

And just as the game of golf can become an obsession to anyone who picks up a club, the pursuit of the award took over Noyes.

His television remote control is a replica of a golf hole. The telephone in his home office is a replica of a golf bag. He owns 83 golf shirts and sweaters. His collection of golf ties--the only ties he wears to work--would stretch longer than the length of a football field, and he is a member of nine golf-related organizations.

On Dec. 28, Noyes began his final push toward the award. He played 18 holes at Mile Square, went to the driving range for a few hours, then played 18 holes of night golf at David L. Baker. He arrived home at 10:45 p.m., practiced putting and chipping for 6 1/2 hours in his backyard, then ended the 24-hour golf marathon with a round at Meadowlark the morning of Dec. 29.

According to his wife, Diane, that day wasn’t all that unusual. “He usually spends four to six hours devoted to golf on weekdays and every waking hour on the weekends,” she said.

Noyes’ list of golf adventures begins in 1962 when he was in the Navy, stationed in Jacksonville, Fla. He and some buddies got weekend leave to attend the Masters.

They didn’t have a place to stay, so they slept in the back of a rented truck. They didn’t have tickets, so they climbed a fence.

“We spent a good part of that weekend getting chased by security,” Noyes said. “But it worked out. I saw all of it.”

But the nuttiest part of the story came the Monday they were supposed to return to the base. Back then, the Masters used an 18-hole Monday playoff to break ties. Arnold Palmer, Gary Player and Dow Finsterwald went to a playoff that year. Noyes and his buddies stayed to watch Palmer win, even though it meant going AWOL.

“We never got caught,” Noyes said. “We call ourselves Arnie’s Navy.”

Topping the list of Noyes’ crazy feats was playing a week after his Feb. 29 quintuple bypass last year.

“I got out of the car, walked right through the house and out to the putting green,” Noyes said. “It was planned in my mind.”

Diane supports her husband’s adventures. She took pictures of Noyes playing after surgery, making sure the stitches were visible. But even though she plays golf and understands the obsessive nature of the game, she sometimes scratches her head at her husband’s exploits.

“Everything he does is bizarre,” Diane said. “It’s all over the top.”

It has to be to win the Golf Nut of the Year award.

Garland, the Head Nut, said Jordan vaulted to the top of the points chart when he skipped the 1988 NBA MVP award presentation to play golf.

Merle Ball, the 1992 winner, played in all 50 states right-handed one year, then played in all 50 left-handed the next. Dr. Howdy Giles, the 1994 winner, is Arnold Palmer’s dentist and uses a ball marker made out of gold extracted from Palmer’s teeth.

“I heard one too many people tell me I’m nuts,” said Garland, the 1986 Oregon amateur champion. “I noticed that term was used a lot for other people too, so I got it trademarked and started a society that basically showcased the ridiculous obsession with golf some people, including me, have.”

There are more than 2,500 members, including Bob Hope, Jack Lemmon, Clint Eastwood, Julius Erving, Lawrence Taylor, Phil Mickelson, Peter Jacobsen, Amy Alcott and Gary McCord.

Noyes said the days of 24-hour golf marathons probably are over now that he has won the award, but he still intends to add to his collections and continue playing in tournaments.

A 14 handicap, he plans on retiring in the next few years. But rather than spending all day on the links, he will dedicate more time to his collectibles and to organizing charity and junior tournaments.

“I don’t need anymore points,” Noyes said.

Had he said that a year ago, some might have thought he was nuts.