Rules Form Another Kind of Prison

If any Arkansas football players are going to prison, they’ll have to get there on their own.

Razorback Coach Houston Nutt recently devised a plan for an educational--and cautionary--visit to the Grimes Unit of the Arkansas State Prison for a little cultural exchange.

“We were going to have Raymond House, Jermaine Brooks, Josh Melton [and] Mark Bokermann talk to about 25 of their guys, and then we were going to have about seven lifers talk to our guys,” Nutt said.

But the plan called for 38 players to travel by private plane to the prison facility--a violation of NCAA rules that prohibit transporting players for any reason other than practice or competition. An Arkansas appeal was denied.

“Once you get one approved, it sets a precedent for other schools, and the potential for abuse,” said Derrick Gragg, associate athletic director at Arkansas.

Right: Allowing regular prison transport could open a whole can of worms.

Trivia time: Who is the only pure placekicker in the Pro Football Hall of Fame?

More NCAA news: Arizona’s Rick Anderson, a senior forward from Long Beach, recently was prohibited from appearing on the game show “Family Feud” with his family, the Arizona Republic notes.

Seems it was deemed the appearance would violate the NCAA extra-benefit rule.

Hmmm.... As the Republic’s Paola Boivin observed, Arizona State and Nebraska football players each were allowed to take home an Xbox (retail value: $199.99) for participating in the Black Coaches Assn. Classic. (The NCAA allows gifts up to $300 in value at bowls and preseason games.)

We’re thinking Anderson would do well in this category: Rules interpretations gone awry.

Hang time: At 40, Philadelphia Eagle punter Sean Landeta is entering his 18th NFL season.

Just for kicks, the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Ron Reid did the math on Landeta’s 52,737 punting yards: That’s almost 30 miles.

Translator, please: The Charlotte Observer’s Tom Sorensen recently got 30 minutes alone with the 400-plus page Carolina Panther playbook.

He didn’t know a lot more after than he did before he tried to memorize things such as “258 pump” and “cut greyhound 8.”

If a (theoretically) literate sportswriter is overwhelmed, what about those proverbially dim football players? Offensive lineman Kevin Donnalley--obviously not among them--explained.

“You might not be able to recite the quadratic formula or Pythagorean theorem or the Magna Carta,” he said. “But there are guys that know this book like the back of their hand. Maybe they’re learning this instead of other things.”

Floundering: Florida Marlins’ attendance at Pro Player Stadium last week included the second-, third-and fourth-smallest crowds in franchise history, reports Jack O’Connell of the Hartford Courant.

“I can’t see this market getting much worse,” Marlin first baseman Derrek Lee said.

Trivia answer: Jan Stenerud, inducted in 1991.

And finally: PGA Championship winner Rich Beem on the spoils being heaped atop his $990,000 winner’s share:

“I think the IRS is going to enjoy my next quarterly income statement.”