It’s not her fairy tale dream

CANNES, France —  Jennifer Saunders finds herself on Planet Strange.

At the Cannes airport for instance, as she arrived from London to promote her first American film, “Shrek 2,” she was greeted by a porter, a security guard and a representative from the studio.

The problem was that she had no luggage for the porter, no entourage for the studio rep and no screaming fans for the bodyguard to hold back.

She was ready to hail a cab to her hotel until she was whisked away by her “detail” into a chauffeured car.

“I pretended that the airline had lost my entourage,” she said over coffee in a cabana overlooking the French Riviera at the celebrated Hotel du Cap.

Then with a sigh, she added, “This is a parallel universe.” Welcome to Hollywood in the French Riviera.

DreamWorks’ long-awaited animated sequel, “Shrek 2,” premiered here on Saturday and, as it’s been three years since the first “Shrek,” the studio pulled out all the stops. The entire cast of “Shrek 2” and their entourages were put up at the tres cher Hotel du Cap.

The studio also flew some of the stars from its other animated film, “Shark Tale,” and also put them up at the Du Cap.

For the requisite, annual Cannes publicity stunt, the studio convinced Will Smith, Angelina Jolie and Jack Black (of “Shark Tale”) to jump on top of a banana boat (in the shape of a shark) and circle around the bay for a Cannes photo op. It was a moment made for Black, the hyperactive comedian who repeatedly yelled “SHARK TAAALES,” waved at the hundreds of cameras and then jumped into the ocean with his clothes on.

The studio also hosted a big party in a rented castle on Saturday night after the premiere. Its stint at Cannes is likely to cost DreamWorks more than $3 million.

But back to Saunders’ cabana at Hotel du Cap, where two large men in black suits, dark sunglasses and earpieces stand guard. (“The place is littered with these men,” she whispered.)

Saunders, a British actress known in America mainly for her role as Edina Monsoon in the television sitcom “Absolutely Fabulous,” plays the (wicked) fairy godmother in “Shrek 2.” She is admittedly not great at the gigantic marketing and publicity game Hollywood plays.

If you expect Saunders, 56, to be anything like Edina, a neurotic, somewhat insecure public relations maven, you will be disappointed.

“I think sometimes the public expects something else -- something larger than life,” she said. First of all, she is not at all a mousy brunet wearing strange, baggy clothes. In fact, she is an attractive blond with blue eyes, a tan and a nice smile.

She is, however, press shy and loathes to talk about herself. She says she is not a particularly ambitious actress.

She declined to take part in the U.S. promotion of the film saying the cross-country tour -- from New York to Chicago to Los Angeles -- was simply too long and it conflicted with her television schedule in London.

“It’s too far and too much time away,” she says. “I do the work to have a life, rather than the other way around.” She lives three hours outside London in the English countryside with her three children, husband, horses and farm animals.

She is now trying to move into producing. “There is an age where the 6 a.m. wake-up call is not something you want,” she says. “I want to be in the producer’s chair, having a coffee and looking awful.”

Her family is not at all Hollywood inclined.

When she phoned her mum to tell her she was in Cannes, mum was not all that impressed.

“She said, ‘Yes ... right ... um, what for darling?’ To do ‘Shrek 2’ publicity. ‘Oh, right.... Tell me again, what is ‘Shrek?’ ” Saunders recalls.

Saunders has spent the past three days talking about herself and the film to hundreds of members of the media from around the globe. For two six-hour days, she was interviewed by more than 100 journalists. Granted, each interview lasted five minutes. Still, it was exhausting. At times it was surreal.

“What is the message of the film?” one earnest reporter asked Saunders and Rupert Everett, who plays Saunders’ son, the evil prince, in the film.

“Oh, that beauty is only skin deep,” Everett offered. “It’s a film about tolerance.”

An even odder question was posed to Everett.

“Do you think you will ever find the perfect girl?” “No,” he answered, not letting on that he happens to like boys.

In any case, Cannes so far has been an educational experience for Saunders. She has sunned at the hotel, eaten extraordinary dinners and, best of all, met the entire cast of “Shrek 2” at dinner Thursday. Because she recorded the voice-overs in a studio in London, she says, it was pretty isolating work. But on Thursday night, Antonio Banderas, who plays the cowardly, sweet-talking Puss in Boots, made sure everyone met Saunders.

“I met Julie Andrews!” she practically squealed. “I couldn’t believe it! There she was talking to me.” If “Shrek 2” brings her more offers from America, so be it. But don’t count on her to say yes.

“I am fussy, but not that fussy,” she said. “It would depend on how long I would have to be away.... On Sunday I go back. Back to normal.”