Motherhood versus making a living

Re “Guilty moms, the next generation,” Opinion, April 22

So how did the 1950s become the platonic ideal of motherhood? From sitcom reruns? In my own seemingly normal family, my father worked until 8 or 9 p.m. and left most of the child-rearing up to my mother, who was, in turn, constantly harried from chasing after the ever-vanishing goal of perfect homemaker.

Stay-at-home motherhood was never ideal, and it’s not really a possibility for most of us. So let’s follow Meghan Daum’s advice about freeing our daughters from future guilt and try to work with what we have: making day care affordable and nurturing, creating decent public schools with quality after-school care, giving mothers and fathers paid family leave (following the Scandinavian model), recognizing that parents do a lot of good work in their professional lives but need flexibility in their schedules, and acknowledging that for many working mothers, there’s often a father out there diapering the baby, slinging the beanie-weenie on the table and coaching the soccer team.

These are the things that didn’t happen in the 1950s.

ELLEN EHRLICH

Los Angeles