Long Beach Police Are Afraid of Asinine 911 Calls

Here’s another annoying aspect of cellphones -- at least for emergency personnel. Long Beach Police Cmdr. Laura Farinella told the Beachcomber newspaper that, as the department installs technology to receive 911 cell calls directly, numerous accidental calls are expected from the public. Problem: Cell users often set off their phones by sitting on them. Said Farinella: “They’re called ‘butt calls.’ ”

Making a splash: The Thin Blue Line, an LAPD publication, carries a photo of 91-year-old physical fitness guru Jack LaLanne, who received an award from the department’s historical society for his support.

Good to see there are no hard feelings from law enforcement over the fact that, half a century ago, LaLanne swam from Alcatraz to San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf while handcuffed.

Of course, LaLanne wasn’t on the run (or swim) from the law. It was just his way of celebrating his 41st birthday.

Speaking of law and order: In San Antonio, Paul Chandler of Chatsworth found a taco shop that is trying to protect customers from both tobacco and gun smoke (see photo).

Something to lose your head over? “Is that the Marie Antoinette model?” Mark Martinez asked of a piece of jewelry (see accompanying).

Losing a century: George Padilla of South Pasadena feels no great hurry to sign up for one seismology seminar whose proper date had been displaced (see accompanying).

Tuned in: Gloria and Wayne Wilson of Woodland Hills noticed that the city workers in their neighborhood seem to have some of the comforts of home on the job (see photo).

Name game: L.A. film editor Rick Mitchell read that one spokesman for the New York Police Department is Martin Speechley.

A dud: At a reunion of former hands at the old Los Angeles Mirror (1948-62), Cliff Dektar recalled being sent out to cover a report of a bomb in a suitcase. It was an era when L.A. had five daily newspapers and competition was fierce for an exclusive.

When Dektar arrived on the scene, he told a police officer: “My editor says I’m to open the suitcase.” Nothing doing, said the incredulous officer.

Dektar phoned his office to relay the bad news, to which his editor replied: “You coward.”

miscelLAny: “Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History,” a book by attorney Charles Sevilla of San Diego, contains excerpts of actual testimony, including this exchange:

Attorney: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

Witness: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712 and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012.