No-holds-barred poker
THE burnished mahogany, subdued lighting and soothing earth tones of the Golden Nugget’s newly remodeled poker room might radiate a warm, club-like vibe, but I was ice cold as I recently bought into one of its No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em ring games. While the other players at the table played cautiously against one another, they were relentlessly and collectively aggressive against me. Check-raising me, trapping me, slow-playing me with big pairs, going over the top of my feeble raises and bluffing me right into the ATM machine.
Had I inadvertently plunked down into some sort of conspiracy? Was I the designated sucker of the day? Was the whole world against me?
Yes to all the above. Only after an hour and a half of this galling abuse did it dawn on me that most of the players knew one another. Sure, I had tried to cut an intimidating table image by donning a baseball cap, dark Maui Jim shades and stuffing my ears with an iPod, just like the champs do on TV. Big deal. I was still a one-man all-you-can-eat buffet for my ravenous tablemates.
It’s springtime, and that means millions of us regulars are casting a greedy eye on the World Series of Poker. Starting June 1, thousands will compete for six weeks in Vegas for mind-boggling prizes. Last year’s top winner -- Malibu producer Jamie Gold, a good but not great player -- took home $12 million. There are only two ways to get into the World Series: Buy a seat for the full-freight price of $10,000 or win a seat by clinching a preliminary “satellite” tournament for as little as $100 or less.
And the only way to prepare for one of those tourneys, I figured, was to practice in low-stakes cash games, like the one at the Nugget.
“No, not there!” said Max Ruhlmann, a skilled gambler who has made a solid profit at the poker tables for the last decade. “In a place like that, you’re sure to run right into a pro or two.... Next time, look for a game where people are actually having fun, and you might stand a chance.”
Poker has never been bigger in Vegas than right now. It was almost extinct five years ago, but there are now more than 100 poker rooms in Sin City, and probably two or three new ones added each month. The boom reflects the national poker craze touched off in 2003 by the Travel channel’s World Poker Tour, which popularized the use of the “pocket cam,” the hidden camera that lets the audience see the hole cards of each player. Overnight, one of the most boring activities to watch on TV became high drama. Throw in the no-limit betting rule in Texas Hold ‘Em and you have nothing less than sweet music to Vegas casinos.
“First thing, lose the glasses and the cap,” Ruhlmann counseled. “That’s exactly the sort of player I look for to win against. Y’know, TV wannabes.
“Then find a poker room where there’s a lot of young people drinking a lot and making a lot of noise. I recommend Hooters.”
My cultural aesthetic standards are pretty low when it comes to Vegas. But that low? I was so resistant to the notion of Hooters that I slowly worked my way down the Strip sampling other rooms.
The posh poker palace inside the Venetian has high, recessed ceilings, ornate chandeliers and sand-colored felt on the tables -- all of which reeked luxury. I bought in for $100 worth of chips in the no-limit $1 to $2 game and soon found a rich mix of players. Unskilled tourists, some seasoned locals and a few who, without a doubt, were pros. No thanks.
Next, I tried the room at the aging Riviera that was, in reality, just a roped-off space inside the larger casino. A friendly game with lots of player bonuses for good hands, but not much excitement.
By midnight, I had succumbed to temptation, braced myself and strolled into Hooters on the southern end of the Strip, just across from the MGM Grand. Truth is, compared with the sea of kitsch around it, the Vegas Hooters isn’t that bad. OK, I actually liked it.
And Ruhlmann was spot-on about Pete’s Poker Room inside. Tiny, with only three tables and its knotty pine walls, plywood floors and bright yellow table felt, the room seemed more like an adolescent clubhouse. The noise coming from the adjoining sports bar was ear-splitting. Just as Ruhlmann predicted, the younger players at the table, all wearing caps and shades, were more interested in slugging back another round of brewskis and cheering the basketball game on the bar TVs than they were in their hands.
Twice as old as the average player there, I put my shades and cap back on, slowly -- very slowly -- nursed a Bud and bought in for another $100. Well, move over Johnny Chan! I was immediately on a roll, stacking and racking up the chips, playing my rush and getting reckless: going all-in on marginal hands such as small pocket pairs and A-9. And winning. It’s easy when everyone is a worse player than you.
Well, not everyone. I soon realized that as different players busted out and new ones cycled into the nine seats, there were always two or three who were there for the same reason I was: to feed off the kiddies.
During the dealer’s shuffle, we’d look at one another over our glasses with knowing glances and raised eyebrows. Stealing candy was never easier.
I didn’t quit till the rising sun punctured the desert darkness. In the previous six hours, I had seen a steady parade of sometimes awful players come to the table with a swagger, only to leave in a slump -- including the two who had literally passed out, head down on the poker table.
But I had more than quintupled my stake overnight, and if that meant some kid had lost this semester’s tuition, so be it. In the morning light, I was dreaming only of taking out Jamie Gold.
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(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX)
Let the games begin
THE ADVICE
A simple rule of thumb: If you’re not a highly skilled player, stay away from the top-end casinos that brim with pros and sharks. Likewise, avoid the standard “locals” casinos, which attract a legion of seasoned amateurs who play every day. Best bets are middle- to low-end casinos without a cool image.
Basic tips for unskilled no-limit players: Play cash games instead of tournaments. Make minimum instead of maximum buy-ins; you can always re-buy. Be patient and wait for premium hands. Don’t get cute with marginal hands that you don’t know how to play. Against more skilled opponents, try to go all-in with monster hands. Lose the cap and shades.
THE PLACES
Bellagio, 3600 Las Vegas Blvd. S.; (702) 693-7111, www.bellagio.com. The gleaming crown jewel of Vegas poker rooms. If the guy sitting across from you looks like Doyle Brunson, it probably is Doyle Brunson. Don’t try to play a 10-2 here unless you are Doyle Brunson.
The Mirage, 3400 Las Vegas Blvd. S.; (702) 791-7111, www.mirage.com. Classy and cool. A sometimes playable room for amateurs. If you’re lucky, you’ll make big bucks off an inexperienced big spender. If you’re unlucky, the Vegas plasma banks are open 24 hours.
The Wynn, 3131 Las Vegas Blvd. S.; (702) 770-7000, www.wynnlasvegas.com. Beautiful, like the hotel around it. Take a nice look and then keep on walking, unless you’re a direct relative of Steve Wynn.
The Palms, 4321 W. Flamingo Road; (866) 942-7777, www.palms.com. Ultra-hip and just as dangerous. Its weekday $2 to $5 game is the toughest in town. More local pros congregate here than anywhere else waiting to fleece the nonstop flow of inexperienced big spenders. You’ve been warned.
Red Rock, 1101 W. Charleston Blvd.; (702) 797-7777, www.redrocklasvegas.com. Even hipper than the Palms. Bring your shades, lots of cash and don’t cop to being over 25. This is the place for aggressive Internet-trained players. Playable, but definitely not for the fainthearted.
The Golden Nugget, 129 E. Fremont St.; (702) 385-7111, www.goldennugget.com. A hangout for crews of older sharpies and regulars. Don’t let the table chatter about AARP fool you. On a weekend night, even the $1 to $2 table can have thousands of chips on it -- none of them will end up yours.
Hooters Casino Hotel, 115 E. Tropicana Ave.; (866) 584-6687, www.hchvegas.com. Poker paradise. No class, no comfort, no pretense, but lots of players eager to give you money. And one more thing: Don’t ever admit to actually playing here.
Binion’s, 128 E. Fremont St., (800) 937-6537, www.binions.com. This is bare-bones poker fundamentalism, like playing in a friend’s garage. A shifting mix of tourists and pros makes the room playable -- with caution. Try out the nightly 2 a.m. tournament to feel like a regular at the Star Wars Bar.
