Column: From Trump’s taco bowl to Amy Klobuchar’s Elena, when ‘Hispandering’ goes wrong

At a recent Donald Trump rally in Madison Square Garden, comedian Tony Hinchcliffe, whom I was made aware of entirely against my will, referred to Puerto Rico as a “floating island of garbage,” initiating a wave of backlash from Latinos and progressives mere days before the presidential election. For Republicans, the escándalo couldn’t have come at a worse time, as it threatens recent inroads into a voting bloc that has historically voted blue, votes they absolutely need if they’re going to capture swing states in a tight race against Democrat Kamala Harris.

In response, Trump pushed the Hispanic Panic button: He dusted off a Spanish-language campaign ad from 2020 and posted it on X, formerly Twitter, on Tuesday. The video, which features Trump-Pence signs (the two have since had a rather famous falling out) and an original song by “Los 3 de la Habana,” was hugely popular when it first came out, but it’s unclear if it will work as damage control here in 2024. What is clear is that it’s a textbook example of “Hispandering,” a category of corny behavior exhibited by politicians in a desperate bid to hunt down that elusive cryptid known as “the Latino vote.”

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Such behavior can take many forms. Most commonly, it’s speaking in an accent, or making use of high school Spanish vocabulary lessons to make vaguely affirmative statements that typically incorporate the words “juntos” or “vamos.” It’s fascinating to observe, like watching Amy Adams in “Arrival” trying to establish contact with the Heptapods, only, instead of writing “HUMAN,” the whiteboard says “VOTANTE.”

It’s especially garish coming from Trump, who launched his original presidential bid almost a decade ago drumming up xenophobia about people from Latin America. But he’s far from the only politician to engage in it. I would know, because I religiously collect examples of Hispandering. They tickle me. But also, I think they have something informative to say about how our elected officials view the Latino community: Latinos love Spanish, tacos, su familia, el respeto, la economia and Cinco de Mayo. These assumptions aren’t entirely incorrect but are nonetheless a bit crude to say out loud.

These shaky, imperfect moments make a legible caricature out of a dynamic between politicians and voters of all stripes that’s supposed to be less noticeable: Elected officials calibrate themselves for mass appeal, and are often three focus groups in a trenchcoat.

What separates genuine community outreach from Hispandering? Well, most crucially, a genuine moment of Hispandering must ring hollow. It’s a botched attempt at relatability or, in the case of Trump’s recent post, an attempt to paper over valid concerns. It’s like violently doing the Macarena in the hopes that people eventually stop asking you what you meant when you referred to an island with over 3 million people living on it and a huge population in the continental United States as “garbage.”

I ranked some of these moments, for educational and, more important, entertainment purposes. Hopefully by the end we’ll have learned something about the imperfect science behind community outreach, or about the perception of Latino voters in the U.S. Or maybe we’ll just cringe together. We’ll cringe juntos.

Trump’s Taco Bowl

This might be the most infamous instance of Hispandering. In 2017, Donald Trump tweeted this photo of himself, grinning and eating a taco bowl. “Happy #CincoDeMayo!” the message read. “The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!” Subtle as always.

As with many posts from the former president, I must begrudgingly admit this post is funny. It’s so disrespectful that it wraps back around and becomes campy. It’s “Latino identity is nuanced, complicated, richly layered and amorphous” vs. “No it’s not.” Latino identity, I suppose, is a taco bowl in a skyscraper in New York City. The sad lump of sour cream in particular makes me feel celebrated and seen. Gracias, Señor Trump.

The “Southwest Taco Bowl” is still available at Trump Grill for $25 and promises “classic tex mex [sic] flavors.”

Kamala Harris’ Latina accent

I’m so fair and balanced, I’m putting Kamala Harris on this list as well. This instance was recently making the rounds on X. It sees Vice President Harris addressing Latinos in D.C. last month, using what some have claimed to be a “fake Latina accent” when she said “I love you back” to someone in the crowd. I’ve listened a few times, and I kind of hear it. George Santos of all people weighed in with his two cents, cents I’m sure he acquired ethically, posting, “When did she become Latina?” A bit rich, considering Santos himself has a Latina alter ego, Kitara Ravache, but that’s neither here nor there.

Maybe I lied. Maybe I am biased, because I don’t really see this one as a big deal. I think this is just one of those moments where someone who has read a bunch of books about “winning people over” or whatever just has it etched into their genetic code to reflect the way people speak back to them. There are better examples of Democrats Hispandering in funnier, more overt ways.

Jeb Bush being Hispanic

Nine years ago, the American political landscape was very different, inasmuch as there were Republican presidential candidates who were normal and boring in the way that an exhausted, uptight high school principal who hates dancing might be. People like Jeb Bush, whose fluency in español is actually quite high. He was very interested in reminding everyone of this, as he did in his Cinco de Mayo ad. Cinco de Mayo is a very important day for politicians.

Jeb’s wife, Columba, hails from León, Mexico. Maybe that’s why Jeb marked himself as “Hispanic” in a 2009 voter registration form. He was roundly mocked for this, justifiably, I’d say, but I like the idea of providing a road to becoming Latino. We should make Jeb Bush publicly recite “Cielito Lindo.”

Jeb Bush’s Guaca Bowlé

Oh, ¡Jeb! Back at it again. Out of all the items that have ever been sold on a presidential candidate’s website, I think this, Jeb’s molcajete, is the wildest. Which is really an accomplishment, considering the candidate himself has all the flavor of uncooked steel-cut oats. The molcajete took three weeks to ship, cost $75 and threatened that Jeb’s top-secret guacamole recipe was not included … “yet.” Very ominous.

The molcajete, the iconic Mexican version of the mortar and pestle, has enjoyed quite the illustrious trajectory, beginning in pre-Hispanic Mesoamerican cultures and ultimately ending up on jeb2016.com.

The ‘Latinos for Trump’ Song

This ad was like “Coco” for people who took horse dewormer because they thought it would prevent COVID-19. And unfortunately, for good reason: The song is a banger. The video, funded by the Trump campaign, features a melange of Latin-ish stuff, like Cuban musical motifs and Mexican folk dancers. It also features a random shot of the Colorado River. I wish it had more shots like that. They could have really gone for it and included a shot of the San Antonio Riverwalk and Goku.

It also spawned the deeply unhinged “gay Cuban for Trump” video. I think, “Oh my God! I will vote!” several times a week, and for that, it has my gratitude.

Hillary Clinton es mi abuela

This one fills me with nostalgia. In 2015, the Clinton campaign, after word came out that Hillary’s daughter, Chelsea, was having another baby, decided to post a since-deleted listicle titled “7 ways Hillary Clinton is just like your abuela.” Among the reasons was that she wasn’t afraid to get a little spicy when people “le faltan el respeto,” or “lack respect.”

The backlash prompted the “Hillary Clinton is not my abuela” campaign on social media, in which people vehemently resisted the comparison. It’s all very funny in retrospect, as, yes, Hillary Clinton is very obviously not my abuela. Hillary Clinton has never personally called me chubby and my abuela’s foreign policy was radically different from Hillary’s (she had a nuanced yet contrarian take on NAFTA).

Llaméme … Elena

My favorite Hispandering moments are earnest, misguided attempts to connect with Latinos, which is why this one reigns supreme as my favorite. In 2020, then-presidential candidate Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota told the Culinary Union forum in Nevada that in fourth-grade Spanish, “They gave me the name Elena.”

There’s a lot that I love about this. First of all, “Elena” isn’t particularly close to “Amy.” Second of all, it’s a rather unprompted thing to say. But I’m glad she said it, because it makes me smile every time I think about it. I would listen to a mariachi song about Elena la Klobuchismosa. Elena Quintanilla. Be kind to Elena, or she’ll smack you with la Klobuchancla.

Sorry.

Ultimately, culture is a complex thing. Finding common ground with communities you didn’t grow up with is essential for politicians in a pluralist society. It’s especially difficult with Latinos, a community with many different communities inside it, many of whom have unique sets of concerns and their own politics. There are many ways to go about appealing to such groups, all of them flawed. But our officials would do well to understand that nobody needs you to break out an accent, and that posting an outdated campaign ad is not the same thing as an apology.

As we hurtle toward a stressful election, remember to take care. Or, as Jeb would say, vaya con Dios.

JP Brammer is a columnist, author, illustrator and content creator based in Brooklyn. He is the author of ”Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons,” based on his successful advice column. He has written for outlets including the Guardian, NBC News and the Washington Post. He writes a regular column for De Los.