The Envy Awards: Because we all have our favorites

Each year, audiences get very excited to learn which actor, show, director and writer (along with a lot of other categories) gets to call itself “best” by way of Emmy Award coronations. But as we find year after year, the best stuff on TV often has no category in which to be recognized – because the best is in a category all by itself. Here, we present the latest Envy Awards: prizes for TV’s greatest moments of the past season that will never receive a statue of their own. (And since they are great moments, they also will be spoilers for anyone not caught up). From 1980s music to Popsicle graveyards to crying faux-news anchors, we salute you all.

Most Shocking Sibling Hide-and-Seek

“Mr. Robot” (USA)

Eight episodes in, we learned something we never knew about two of the main characters from a series that was already doing such a great job at keeping us off guard: Namely that Elliot and Darlene are siblings (with Dad being Mr. Robot himself). It’s one thing for a show to tease that a big “reveal” is coming; it’s quite another for it to reveal something to us we never even knew was in question.

The You’re Not Crying, I’m Crying Special Award

Stephen Colbert on “The Daily Show” (Comedy Central)

Jon Stewart’s final episode of “The Daily Show” last August was full of high emotion, but then Stephen Colbert took a seat and things really went off the rails. In a show that so often provided biting laughs and scintillating insights, Colbert took a chance to make Stewart cry (and all of the rest of us with him) with his tribute. “You are infuriatingly good at your job!” he insisted. “We owe you, because we learned from you.”

Best Use of a 1980s Cult Classic Song in a Death Scene

“The Americans” (FX)

There’s a lot of quirky, unsettling stuff scripted on TV these days, but it’s hard to match the pairing of a cold-blooded killing of a man of the cloth (Pastor Tim) by your antihero leads (Philip and Elizabeth), just because he happened to have learned that you’re, you know, KGB spies. But pairing that creepy, brutal killing with the love-obsessed, synth-heavy 1981 cult favorite “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell puts a whole new meaning on the concept of Crazy Ivans.

Most Reprehensible Trend of the Season

“Bury Your Gays,” various shows

Diversity on TV is supposed to mean more stories can be told now that there are fresh faces with fresh life experiences in series. But that’s not how it’s turned out, as those open doors keep getting slammed shut: In 2016 no fewer than 10 bisexual or lesbian characters got killed off, including “Empire’s” Mimi and her wife, Camilla; Lexa on “The 100”; and Denise on “The Walking Dead.” Look, when only 4% of the characters in the 2015-16 season identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual (per GLAAD), that’s a death toll that warrants serious investigation. Can we get the “Law & Order: SVU” crew on board here?

Most Appropriate Use of a Very Special Episode

“black-ish”

The VSE kind of went out of fashion a long time ago; nobody likes to spend 30 or 60 minutes being force-fed their greens, even by their favorite TV characters. But the subject of police brutality was crying out to be addressed in some fashion, and the Johnsons took it head on, without blinking, and spoke to multiple generations with a message that didn’t purport to provide answers, only more questions. If this is what the modern VSE looks like, we’re ready for another helping of veggies.

Most Important Use of Popsicle Sticks in a Serious Discussion

“Orange Is the New Black”

Abortion doesn’t get a lot of discussion on television; it gets virtually zero coverage if there’s a character supporting its use. “Orange” took it one step further: Pennsatucky set up a graveyard of Popsicle sticks, one for each termination procedure she’d undergone, with the “Freakonomics”-quoting Big Boo (done up in clown makeup). Boo told her, “By terminating those pregnancies you spared society the scourge of your offspring. It’s a … blessing.” Now that’s tough love.

The Glass Ceiling … What Glass Ceiling Prize

“Game of Thrones”

A series that once had people clucking their tongues over excessive female nudity and all-too-frequent rape scenes somehow turned on its head this season as the women took over. There was Daenerys, setting fire to the patriarchal Dothraki; Cersei ascended the throne; Sansa got her act together and learned to enjoy revenge (as did little sis, Arya); and even young Lyanna proved she has more guts than a whole room full of Northern warriors. They might not make the world a better place, but they’re sure making it a more interesting one.

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