Review: Boredom stifles ‘Cabin Fever’

Terrified ethnophobes spouting off about the supposed health danger posed by the displaced Central American child refugees might want to avoid “Cabin Fever: Patient Zero.” The third movie in a completely useless horror franchise started by Eli Roth, this slack, dumb prequel posits that the flesh-decimating virus that gave effects artists so much work in the first two films comes from the Dominican Republic.

In parallel stories of surpassing boredom there’s a drug-fueled bachelor-party boat trip to a secluded island and a hidden research bunker on the same island where study of the virus (in the form of unaffected carrier Sean Astin) is about to go sideways. Director Kaare Andrews’ and screenwriter Jake Wade Wall’s interminable set-up is hardly worth the uninspired rollout of the second half’s carnage follies, which save the most debilitating anatomical shredding and pulverizing for two female characters, who square off (face off?) for the benefit of misogynistic gore pervs everywhere.

Fans of underlit, shaky cam scenes of no discernible narrative worth will also have a field day. “Cabin Fever: Patient Zero” was actually shot in the Dominican Republic too. Thankfully, the only real threat the filmmakers brought back into the country was a bad movie.

“Cabin Fever: Patient Zero.”

No MPAA rating.

Running time: 1 hour, 34 minutes.

At AMC Burbank 16.