Letters to the Editor: The grim data on family estrangement because of politics

To the editor: Yes, we should all try to be more empathetic and humble when talking about politics with family during holiday get-togethers, and really throughout the year. It’s not always that easy, however. (“Don’t panic this Thanksgiving: You can survive political disagreements,” Opinion, Nov. 27)

One in two adults is estranged from a close relation today, according to a national poll that my company, the Harris Poll, fielded shortly after election day. While the main explanation for such ruptures is something that a relative said or did, one in five attribute it directly to political differences.

Just more than half of those who are estranged because of politics want to reconcile to some degree. But most say reconnecting is unlikely, with one in five saying they never want to make up. Our survey shows that even a death in the family or an intervention by a relative isn’t enough to get most to resume contact.

So yes, let’s try to be less judgmental with relatives if it averts another family fracture. Just because political leaders increasingly are mean and downright hateful doesn’t mean we have to be that way too.

Will Johnson, Chicago

The writer is chief executive of the Harris Poll.

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To the editor: I would like to share my uplifting Thanksgiving experience.

I was about to check out at Smart and Final in West Hollywood last week when the young man behind me got my attention. He said, “Excuse me, but may I pay for your groceries?”

What? Why? I thanked him but said no, it wasn’t necessary. I am 82 and wore a hoodie and sweats. I am thin. Did I look impoverished? Or strange?

He insisted, explaining it was Thanksgiving and he just wanted to do something nice. The checker was watching and she spoke up: I should let him.

Before I could do anything, he put his phone on top of the screen and clicked the button to pay. He explained that he planned to pay for the groceries of whoever was in front of him.

I asked his name; he is Ryan. This gesture of unsolicited generosity and kindness — especially in this time of such fear, division and rage — is very noteworthy. Ryan deserves high praise and thanks.

And thanks to The Times for providing a space to recognize him.

Wendy Tucker, West Hollywood