A Voter’s Prayer (an ode to Anthony Weiner and associates)

Dear Senator, Dear Congressman

I’m writing you today,

For something’s going on here

That is causing me dismay.

I know that it is challenging

This job you chose to do,

But you’re my representative

And so I’m asking you...

Please keep it in your pants.

Won’t you keep it in your pants?

There’s a time and place for politics

Another for romance,

Perhaps we’d be more tolerant

If we lived in France.

But since we don’t I’m asking you

Please keep it in your pants.

Save it for your wife,

Won’t you save it for your wife?

At least till you’re retired

From this very public life?

The economy’s imploding

And the nation’s filled with strife,

So exercise some self control

And save it for your wife.

God knows I’m not an angel

I’ve had my share of fun,

Cocaine and hot tubs, boys and booze

Were mother’s milk to me.

But I never snapped a photo

of my plumbing with my phone

and tweeted it for all the world to see.

Hear me when I say

Please put that thing away,

I’m sure there are more urgent needs

for which my taxes pay.

Your head is crowned with silver

but your penis made of clay.

So once and for all won’t you heed the call:

Leave the boys in the men’s room,

The girls in Argentina,

Leave your house maids, your friends’ wives alone.

Forget fornication and focus on our nation

And put that thing away.

The author, a singer/songwriter, wrote the Bette Midler hit “The Rose.”

Read more: Opinion poetry by Times readers