Column: Sorry, Trump. Americans know how a ‘real man’ should act
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — The saddest part about Donald Trump talking about the size of Arnold Palmer’s penis during a recent campaign stop is that it’s not even the first time the 78-year-old has gone below the belt looking for votes.
Opinion Columnist
LZ Granderson
LZ Granderson writes about culture, politics, sports and navigating life in America.
Remember back in 2016, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) mocked Trump by saying “you know what they say about men with small hands … you can’t trust ’em.” Trump — who has stubby fingers — couldn’t ignore Rubio’s sophomoric jab, so he defended the size of his penis on national television during a debate: “I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”
For what it’s worth, Trump also guaranteed that Mexico would pay for a border wall. That didn’t happen.
Look who’s leading the group Black Men for Trump, and you’ll see the former president’s real values. (He doesn’t have any.)
You know what actually did happen in Mexico? Our friends to the south elected their first female president, Claudia Sheinbaum, whose term began this month.
In fact, Sheinbaum is one of nine current female heads of state in the United Nations who are also their country’s first female leaders. Something tells me below-the-belt jokes weren’t a determining factor in their elections. While it’s true girls typically mature faster than boys, one would think that by the time a man becomes a grandfather, like Trump, his need to boast about his manliness would have faded away.
In a crisis, Donald Trump’s instinct is to lie and/or file for bankruptcy. Not a good look.
And yet with roughly two weeks left before the election — and the world watching — here we are, America.
Here. We. Are.
Because of the presence of Vice President Kamala Harris at the top of the Democratic ticket, Republicans are doubling down on ridiculous “alpha male” rhetoric in hopes of appealing to men on the fence about female leadership.
After Harris selected Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota as her running mate, conservatives said the former high school football coach wasn’t manly enough. First, they went after his two decades of military service. Then his support of LGBTQ+ students at his school. Then, oddly enough, his hobbies.
He would represent the kind of men who support women. He would show the nation that his Jewish values are American values.
Walz served as co-chair of the Congressional Sportsmen’s Caucus and hosted deer hunting events as governor. When Walz took reporters pheasant hunting with him recently, Trump’s son Eric said: “Of course Walz has to restore his reputation to the male voter.”
“I don’t think you can restore your reputation by, you know, kind of haphazardly going in a field and pretending you’re a great hunter,” he said.
No, according to Eric, it’s his father who is more masculine — the candidate whose face is caked with cosmetics, the one who loves to sway to the gay anthem “YMCA.” Or maybe Sen. JD Vance of Ohio is supposed to butch up the Republican ticket, with his beard and his flannel as Midwesterner drag, even though he’s a millionaire from Silicon Valley who appears to be wearing eyeliner.
His version of masculinity involves standing up for others. Someone should alert Harrison Butker the world has changed for the better, thanks to leaders like Walz.
Seeing Trump scoop fries behind a McDonald’s counter on Sunday, when we all know he’s not accustomed to serving others, only highlights the level of cosplay happening. Harris worked at McDonald’s when she was in college, and Trump keeps claiming that she did not. I guess the lifelong millionaire made that appearance in an apron to try to seem … like a “real man”?
At a recent Harris campaign stop in Grand Rapids, Mich., I asked several men in the crowd about the GOP’s narrative that Democrats are a bunch of betas. To be honest with you, they couldn’t stop laughing. As one voter puts it: “How are we the soft ones, and none of them have the [strength] to stand up to Trump?”
It’s a good question.
Sure, politically it makes sense for a Republican not to make an enemy out of Trump, but how much does a person’s integrity cost in this cowardly world? Trump called GOP Sen. Ted Cruz’s wife ugly, and the tough guy from Texas is still right there supporting him without an apology. Trump called Rubio “little,” and the tough guy from Florida hasn’t left his side.
As a Michigan native, I know a thing or two about what’s considered masculine in the Midwest. Things like cutting your neighbor’s lawn or helping to push a car out of the snow. Having humility and telling the truth.
On the other hand, there’s Trump: known for mocking the military service of veterans and fallen soldiers; not paying carpenters and electricians for their work; making fun of people with disabilities; lying about volunteer work after a national tragedy such as Sept. 11. None of these things prevented Trump from becoming president, but they sure disqualify him from being seen as a “real man” in the eyes of Americans in the Midwest or anywhere else.
The disconnect between Trump’s macho claims and his pathetic record highlights the greatest threat to masculinity in this country. It isn’t a female president or drag queens. It’s Republican cosplay.
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