Remembering the children

Stefanie Frith

It’s been almost a year since Robert and Gloria Stanton of Corona del

Mar lost their 10-year-old grandson, Nicholas Landau, in an accidental

fire while vacationing in Mexico.

On Sunday night, they joined about 100 other people grieving the death

of a child at the fourth annual candlelight vigil sponsored by the Orange

County chapter of Compassionate Friends at Peninsula Park in Newport

Beach.

“We are happy to be here,” Robert Stanton said, standing under the

park’s gazebo with his wife and his grandson’s aunt, Marilyn Sime of

Oceanside. Nicholas’ parents, who live in Murrieta, attended a similar

vigil in Riverside.

“We all want to hear each others’ stories. And our story is that in

the same spot that our house burned down in Estero, Mexico, they are

building a park that will be called ‘Nicky’s Park.’ It’s going to be

marvelous.”

Compassionate Friends is a nonprofit, international organization that

originated in England in 1969 to help comfort and provide support to

families coping with the death of a child.

Four years ago, the group decided to hold a candlelight vigil on the

second Sunday in December, beginning at 7 p.m. in each time zone. The

event starts in New Zealand and sweeps around the world in each chapter’s

time zone.

“The holidays are impossible,” said Vickie Bridgman, facilitator of

the Orange County chapter, whose 18-year-old son, Donny, died three years

ago in a traffic accident.

“It’s nice to remember our children. We are glad to do this. It’s a

warm event.”

Guy and Francine Righter of Yorba Linda, whose son, Larry Szpila, 31,

died almost two years ago, said last year’s candlelight vigil is just a

blur.

“I was so numb. It hadn’t even been a year since he died,” Francine

Righter said, biting her lower lip and clutching her candle.

“I don’t even remember driving here, and when Larry’s name was called,

I remember I didn’t want to put out the candle. I think this year is

better than last though. It’s just so hard.”

The ceremony began with readings by five parents about love and

children, followed by a calling out of about 40 children’s names, during

which families took individual candles to the gazebo and lit them from

two main candles.

Afterward, the song “Precious Child” carried through the air as

families huddled close to one another in support, the sounds of sniffles

and sobs heard throughout.

“There is wonderful support here,” said Pam Wiener of Costa Mesa, who

lost her 3-year-old son, Brandon, this year when a man drove through his

schoolyard to purposely kill children.

“Being with this group gives me the chance to grieve that I don’t get

while at home, where I have to be strong for my other two children,” she

said.

“This candlelight ceremony, it’s such an awesome thing. It’s such a

wonderful way to remember our children.”

Robert Stanton agreed.

“Our Nicholas, he had a wonderful sense of humor, and the more caring

we feel that people are, the better we feel,” he said, holding his candle

in both hands.

“And we need to feel better when something so tragic like this

happens. Something like this event is heartwarming, and it does make us

feel better.”