CINDY, INCIDENTALLY:

Some friends like to bike or hike. Others play video games or watch sports together; but my friends and I prefer to eat and drink and have long-winded dinners in which we challenge each other to eat more than we actually (and comfortably) should.

But dining out is an expensive hobby that a proletariat like myself really can’t indulge in as often as I have been lately; there’s a giant hole in my checking account that just told me so.

At a recent dinner along Main Street, I ordered a salad and an ice tea and passed on the appetizers, cocktails, entrees and even dessert. When the bill arrived I was forced into the awkward position of having to be that friend, the one who challenges “To split or not to split the bill?”

For the most part, splitting the bill is just the easier way to go when sharing a dinner with friends and family. But what if you didn’t eat as much as the others? Or drink? Or have dessert? What if you’re a vegetarian? Is it fair to pay for your friend’s prime rib?

Being diplomatic in this situation can be slightly tricky, especially when friends — with money — often don’t see the big deal in paying $10 extra for a meal you didn’t eat.

Money is one of those taboo topics no one wants to bring up, but dining out often forces the discussion.

When researching the etiquette rules for bill splitting I discovered a few theories that made a lot of sense and even gave me ideas on handling the situation in the future.

Lesley Carlin, co-author of the book “Things You Should Know” suggests if you go to dinner frequently with one particular group it makes sense to split the check evenly, because it does eventually work itself out.

One night you have a salad and the next you have a steak, and it just shakes out, she said.

Another etiquette coach commented if you are over the age of 30, you should split the bill evenly regardless of what you ate.

And Naomi Poulson, owner of the Etiquette School in Dana Point and creator of the DVD “Dining with Decorum” said, “How I handle this is to inform my friends ahead of time that I will be paying my bill separately, then I tell the server the same thing when giving the order,” she explained. “There is no reason why those who eat and drink in moderation should feel uncomfortable in not wishing to subsidize the excesses and thoughtfulness of others.”

I thought these were all good options instead of just giving up on going out with friends or only going when the dinner option was some version of fast food.

Anna Kemp, 28 of Huntington Beach, loves to go out to eat, but doesn’t have a big budget. She said she handles this by simply choosing when she will call foul on bill splitting.

For her it depends on where they are eating. If it’s family style then it makes sense to split, but if it’s individual plates, she doesn’t see why paying for your share can’t work.

“If you have a big group, there will always be someone who gets an appetizer and water, and someone who gets five drinks and a lobster,” Kemp said.

CINDY ARORA is a freelance writer. She may be reached at paprgrrl@gmail.com.