LUMBERYARD LOGS: No such thing as free parking

Call me cynical, but the “free parking” gambit by the City Council smells fishier to me than downtown did during Wednesday’s low tide.

After listening to pleas for assistance from business owners in peril, the council, at the behest of city staff, voted Tuesday not to charge for parking in the city-owned lot at Forest Avenue and Laguna Canyon Road. Now anyone can park there — residents, visitors, business owners, beachgoers — at no charge, at least for the next six months.

This “emergency measure” is supposed to keep businesses from going under in the escalating economic slump that has put retailers in a deep freeze and already caused some to shut their doors, even in Laguna Beach.

It sounds like a good plan, and certainly the Chamber of Commerce is excited about it. But will it really bring lasting relief — or is it too little, too late? Or is it just window-dressing?

This, remember, is the same council that just last month approved a plan to track down and ticket employees of those very businesses who dared to use their resident shoppers parking permits while on the job.

I can just imagine our friendly community service officer, Ross Fallah, pulling someone over for a PWW — that’s “parking while working.”

The “Dragnet” scenario goes like this:

Ross (we’re on a first-name basis) turns on his siren — whoopdedoop — and you pull over.

Ross gets out of his vehicle and approaches you warily, like cops do. You roll down your window.

“Hi, Ross!” you say (he’s on a first name basis with a lot of folks). “What’s up?”

“Hands on the wheel,” Ross says (because that’s what he’s supposed to say; you might be packing heat). “OK, look, I see you have a shoppers parking permit on your car. Now I have to ask you: Were you working or shopping?”

“Are you serious?” you say.

“This is serious business,” Ross says (trying not to smile). “What were you doing before you pulled out of that parking spot? Were you at your job?”

Of course you cannot tell a lie.

“Well, yeah, I was at work. But I bought a latte. Is that a crime?”

“It is now,” he says. “That’s a PWW.” So he writes you up for parking with a shoppers permit while working.

And that ticket will soon cost $4 more than it used to, because on the same day the council granted “free parking” privileges, they raised the parking fines.

The point is, the city doesn’t have the best of track records when it comes to handling its scarce parking resources.

That lot in question — Forest Avenue/Laguna Canyon Road — has been virtually empty in the non-summer months since it was put into service last year after the city maintenance yard was moved up the canyon to the ACT V parking lot and city employees started parking in the former maintenance yard.

The lot was full most of the time during the summer when the city can charge a premium rate of $12 to folks attending the Pageant of the Masters.

The city treats its parking lots like a game of Monopoly.

At first, they decided to sell semi-annual permits for the new lot for $50 — but to take away that convenient downtown parking privilege in the summer months. During the summer, permit-holders had to park in the ACT V lot and shuttle (or hoof it) to town. Not unexpectedly, there wasn’t exactly a run on those partial-year parking privileges.

Also, since the city won’t sell the permits on a month-to-month basis, I suspect that many people figured they were paying for something they weren’t getting, and didn’t bother with those permits in the first place. Why would an employer who hires summer help buy a $50 six-month permit for someone who would only use it for two months? Does that make any business sense? Is the Pope Polish?

In fact, a lot of summer employees ended up parking in the ACT V lot for the “season pass” rate of $10, a reasonable sum.

But business owners still had to find some parking for their employees, and many employees who also live in town were using their resident “shoppers” permits — a bargain at $40 a year — which allow parking at downtown meters. The employees would move their cars every three hours or so, depending upon the maximum parking allowed at the meter.

Hence the crackdown on those parking-while-working scofflaws, as detailed above.

The other options for employees include a $55 per month permit for the Lumberyard parking lot (which has a perennial waiting list) or a $300-a-year permit allowing one to “hunt” for parking in certain areas, such as the nosebleed area of Cliff Drive, with no guarantee of success.

Now here’s the kicker: With the new “free parking” for all offered in the Forest/Canyon Road lot, those who work in town and really need convenient and reliable parking may be forced to buy those higher-priced parking permits — if the free parking does indeed bring scores of visitors to the city, as intended.

Whether that was the real reason for the “free parking” offer in the first place, I leave to you. But it should be noted that city officials have been complaining bitterly about losing money ever since that new lot opened up.

Like the proverbial free lunch, there really is no free parking.

CINDY FRAZIER is city editor of the Coastline Pilot. She can be contacted at (949) 494-2087 or cindy.frazier@latimes.com.