The Times’ college football rankings

Alabama versus Louisiana State is like Romney and Perry: It’s going to get settled. You say LSU has (Coach) Les, I say ‘Bama has (A.D.) Moore. And it’s OK to have OK at No. 3. Alabama and LSU are headed toward a Nov. 5 Southeastern Conference showdown in Tuscaloosa; broadcasters Lundquist and Danielson, right then and there, might claim a sixth straight national title for CBS/SEC. Florida notches up only one spot this week but lurks ominously with upcoming games against Alabama and LSU. Poll watchers ask: Where’s Michigan? Well, it’s in Ann Arbor, of course, or the other way around. Rankman pronounces first judgment day Oct. 15 at East Lansing.

1; Alabama 4-0; Took everything out of Arkansas, including Bear Bryant. (1)

2; Louisiana State 4-0; Only an SEC team could give up 463 passing yards and move up in polls. (3)

3; Oklahoma 3-0; Cover 2: Stoops 100% for joining Pac-12 and 100% for staying in Big 12. (2)

4; Boise State 3-0; BCS says ammonia and water works great for cleaning glass ceilings. (4)

5; Stanford 3-0; Probably smart enough to note UCLA quarterback passed only 11 times last week. (6)

6; Oklahoma State 4-0; Quarterback is former pitcher in Dodgers chain, probably owed money by McCourts. (8)

7; Wisconsin 4-0; Member of Legends (or Leaders) division set to host Nebraska (or Creighton). (7)

8; Nebraska 4-0; Will wear red to inaugural Big Ten ball and pray it doesn’t clash with opponent. (9)

9; Oregon 3-1; Twelve more yards versus Arizona and James, with 288, would have rushed for double his weight. (11)

10; Clemson 4-0; Join “Dabo’s Fan Club” today and receive DVD of “Ma and Pa Kettle.” (22)

11; Virginia Tech 4-0; High-powered Hokie-scope spots high-powered Clemson on the horizon. (12)

12; Florida 4-0; Notre Dame wonders why Charlie Weis could never start 4-0 for the Irish. (13)

13; South Carolina 4-0; Trying to become this year’s story with win over last year’s story, Auburn. (14)

14; Texas A&M 2-1; Team got great 3.9%, 30-year fixed mortgage with SEC Savings & Loan. (10)

15; South Florida 4-0; Back to drawing board after amassing only 1,320 total yards in last two games. (16)

16; Baylor 3-0: Quarterback Griffin III has more touchdown passes (XIII) than incomplete passes (XII). (18)

17; Florida State 2-2; Kid quarterback Trickett could be ticket if he can get through this thicket. (5)

18; Arkansas 3-1; “In SEC-Land,” Hogs tell A&M, “even the chin straps are made of candy.” (17)

19; West Virginia 3-1; Loud crowds and vulgar T-shirts get you only so far against the really good teams. (15)

20; Texas 3-0; Another loss to Iowa State and Longhorn Network will start casting for “CSI: Austin.” (20)

21; Texas Christian 3-1; Perennial No. 1 defense has inched up to No. 85 on the Hit Parade. (21)

22; Georgia Tech 4-0; Secret to running success is steady diet of oats mixed with Ground Chuck. (23)

23; Houston 3-0; Keenum gets green light to pass lights out at Texas El Paso. (24)

24; Illinois 4-0; “Homecoming” this week against Northwestern … “Home leaving” next week at Indiana. (25)

25; Arizona State; 3-1; Linebackers help Corona Centennial High move up five spots in prep poll after USC win. (NR)

Dropped out: USC (20).

Moved in: Arizona State.