The Sports Report Olympics edition: Oh (no) Canada

The sun sets over the Eiffel Tower as the U.S. and Canada women beach volleyball teams compete in Paris Saturday.

By John CherwaSpecial Contributor

July 28, 2024 3 AM PT

Welcome to our daily Olympic newsletter. My name is John Cherwa and I noticed the United States picked up five medals on Saturday, which is tied with Australia, a country who has 40 million more kangaroos than us. But we have more breweries.

We were in awe on Friday as the opening ceremony closed with a hovering Olympic cauldron that seemed to rise into the Parisian sky. Now we find out that there is no fire or even a flame and that the cauldron will only be airborne a few hours at night. It seems the Olympic flame is actually 40 LED spotlights combined with 200 misting nozzles. No fossil fuels, just electricity.

So, if we have this right, the Olympic flame is a high-tech fake fireplace. Wonder if it plugs into a cauldron versions of EV charging stations?

Teddy Riner and Marie-Jose Perec watch as the cauldron rises in a balloon during the opening ceremony in Paris on Friday

The cauldron will be about 200 feet in the air from sunset (about 9:30 p.m.) until 2 a.m. nightly in Paris. It will spend its days near the glass pyramid at the entrance to the Louvre.

This is the second time the flame has not been at the opening stadium. In 2010 in Vancouver, it was ignited inside the BC Place during the ceremony. Figuring that having a flame, a real flame made of fire, inside a building wasn’t a great idea, it was then taken to a second cauldron near the Convention Center.

We loved our Canadians then. But wait …

O (No) Canada

Canada coach Bev Priestman signals from the sideline during a 2023 World Cup match.

We have a real fondness for our Canadian friends. They’re friendly. They’ve got those charming quirks in their speech. And they don’t make fun of us because their national anthem is so much better than ours.

Now, we find out in women’s soccer they are cheats. FIFA, the governing body of soccer that helped popularize corruption in sport, is deducting six points from the women’s team in the Olympic tournament after three coaches were caught using a drone to spy on New Zealand practices before its first game.

Given that Canada was ranked ninth and New Zealand is 28^th in the FIFA rankings, doesn’t this make as much sense as Richard Nixon having his goons break into the Democratic headquarters to give him an edge over a fractured opposition party that eventually selected George McGovern?

The Canadian soccer federation was fined about $226,000 and the coaches suspended for a year. The defending Olympic champions will need a lot of luck to make the next round.

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Day in review

Let’s look at things from a U.S. perspective. Why? Because that’s where we live.

THE HIGHS

The U.S. United States men's 4x100 meter freestyle relay team celebrates on the podium after winning gold medals

—The U.S. won its first gold medal of the Games when the men’s 4X100 freestyle relay beat Australia by more than a second.

—Sarah Bacon and Kassidy Cook of the U.S. took silver in the women’s synchronized 3-meter springboard. China, who may sweep every diving medal, won. The U.S. pair was in danger of losing their second place standing as Australia had been closing the gap. But Australia took the synchro out of synchronized on the last dive, allowing Britain to take the bronze.

—Chloe Dygart of the U.S. was pleased with her third-place finish in the women’s cycling time trial road race considering she crashed on the slippery, wet streets of Paris. The race was won by Australia’s Grace Brown. In the men’s race, Belgium took gold and bronze with Remco Evenepoel and Wout van Aert. Brandon McNulty of the U.S. finished fifth.

—The U.S. men’s soccer team avenged its 3-0 loss to France on Wednesday with a 4-1 win over New Zealand. A win or maybe even a draw against Guinea on Tuesday would advance the team to the knockout round for the first time since 2000.

THE IN BETWEEN

Australian Ariarne Titmus celebrates after winning the women's 400-meter freestyle final as Katie Ledecky watches.

—Katie Ledecky finished third in her first event, the 400 freestyle. It was no surprise that the race was won by Australia’s Ariarne Titmus, who has not lost this race since 2019. Summer McIntosh of Canada was second. The 400 is Ledecky’s weakest event. The longer, the better. Our Kevin Baxter has all the details here.

—The men’s street skateboarding was postponed because of the rain. It has been rescheduled for Monday.

—The men’s gymnastics team qualified fifth for the team final. It finished behind China, Japan, Britain and Ukraine.

THE LOWS

American Brody Malone competes on the floor exercise during men's gymnastics qualifying at the Paris Olympics

—The U.S. men’s rugby-sevens team lost both its matches to finish in eight place. It lost 17-14 to Ireland and then 19-0 to Argentina. France shocked the rugby world beating Fiji 28-7 for the gold. The women start today.

—Miles Partain and Andrew Benesh of the U.S., representing a country of 330 million, were dominated in straight sets by Noslen Diaz Amaro and Jorge Luis Alayo Moliner of Cuba, a country of 11 million, in a preliminary round of beach volleyball.

—Two-time U.S. men’s gymnastics champion Brody Malone faltered on the pommel horse and high bar and failed to make the all-around final.

A look at today

We’re up to 25 sports in action. Here are some interesting ones:

—It’s too early for most, but the women’s gymnastics qualifying for the U.S. team starts at 2:40 a.m. PDT Regardless of the time, catch Thuc Nhi Nguyen’s look at how gymnasts are competing at older ages. Just click here.

—The U.S. men’s basketball team opens play against Serbia about 8:14 a.m. PDT.

—The U.S. women’s soccer team plays Germany at noon PDT.

—Starting at 1:30 p.m. PDT, swimming has three finals: men’s 400 IM, women’s 100 butterfly and men’s 100 breaststroke.

Unintentionally funny

It was a commercial for Delta Airlines, where it said “the airline that athletes trust to get you to Paris.”

Maybe they are good getting you to Paris, but try getting in and out of Atlanta, or anywhere else they flew this past week. But the CEO apologized, so all is good.

Must-read links

Let’s catch up on some stories you might have missed, but shouldn’t have:

Your TV guide

How can you watch the Games today? Check out Sunday’s Olympic TV listings.

Until next time...

That concludes today’s newsletter. If you have any feedback, ideas for improvement or things you’d like to see, email me at john.cherwa@latimes.com. To get this newsletter in your inbox, click here.