Opinion: Topper Goes to St. Paul

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As someone who lights candles at the altar of millinery, I can’t say that I am flattered that the only circumstances that find Americans eagerly putting on hats are miserable weather or political conventions.

Sadly, Cindy McCain was only echoing the metaphorical party line when she said Monday night that ‘’this is the time when we take off our Republican hats and put on our American hats.’’ Oh, if only there had been an un-doffing and a re-doffing to behold.

When hats do put in an appearance every four years, they’re either tiresome cowboy hats or hideous polyester baseball caps or boaters that look like the plastic version of something Woodrow Wilson might have worn striding across the Princeton campus, or -- worst of all -- loony-tunes homemade toppers that are as good as a shout-out to the CNN cameras: ``Look at me!`` I didn’t see it, but someone told me that at the Democratic convention, a delegate was wearing a hat that was a replica of a toilet. I guess the point was about flushing the opposition, but really, how substantial a case are you making for your candidate by wearing a scale-model crapper on your head?

Judging by the numbers of people wo have stopped me on the convention’s first day in St. Paul and told me how much they like my hat, the Republican party is indeed a big tent -- with room for millinery of every weave, color and style. And not a single moment too soon.

Image of Lincolnesque delegate George Engelbach at the Republican National Convention Sept. 1 courtesy of Keith Bedford/Bloomberg News