‘Hell’s Kitchen:’ Mmmm, nice pancetta

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Julia, Julia, Julia.

Those scallops were not overcooked. Worse, you were duped into misbelieving your own eyes by Bonnie. Bonnie! She’s been ridiculed again and again by Chef Ramsay for living down to that dumb-blond stereotype. Rock and Melissa are already sharpening their knives.

Other highlights of the night: Vinnie getting the boot, not for mistaking seared tuna for pancetta, of all things (probably thanks to his smoker’s palate), but for overcooking one beef Wellington after another. (Does all that food really end up in the garbage? Can’t Jen retrieve it and feed it to the homeless?) Rock talking about himself in the third person, and Ramsay prancing about, imitating Bonnie looking for her chicken.

But the piece de resistance required the assistance of TiVo. It was the almost-indecipherable remark Ramsay spat at the towering woman in the red-patterened dress who decided she’d get her 15 minutes by complaining about the wait for food in Hell’s Kitchen: ‘Get the giraffe out of here.’

For a moment there, she almost looked genuinely surprised.

--Rene Lynch