‘Dancing With the Stars’: Hit the road, Jack(ass)
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Well, it was bound to happen. After sitting at the bottom of the leader board for the last two weeks, fate finally caught up with our resident Jackass and sent the endearing but rhythmically challenged stunt dude Steve-O home. But after six weeks, the clown definitely left us with some indelible moments: The cringe-inducing front flip on his mike pack. The raspy voice. The distinction of earning the lowest Week 6 score ever. And perhaps most of all, the admission of his tendency to “manstruate.” Although some might say it was Steve-O’s time to leave the competition, I find his exit a little bittersweet: Sure, maybe his skills weren’t up to snuff, but now we’ll never be able to see the bedazzled cheetah-print banana-hammock costume he so temptingly dangled for next week’s competition. Sigh. Some things are best left to the imagination, I guess.
The producers decided to get rid of the dance-off once again. Maybe they figured out that it was just a stressful, unsatisfying hassle that didn’t quite live up to the excitement that the idea of a dance-off usually triggers? I, for one, didn’t miss it. Why subject us to the worst dances again when you can re-watch the best? For the second week in a row, Lil’ Kim and Derek Hough were selected by the judges to do an encore performance. And it was just as fun watching their jumping jive, complete with curled lips and Elvis-like posturing, the second time around. Lil’ Kim has really grown on me throughout this competition. And I love that her effusive enthusiasm isn’t just kept to her and her partner: You could tell when she was backstage that she was genuinely touched by Ty and Steve-O’s earnest comments. And to her credit, the rapstress barely flinched when Samantha sassed all over herself in a gushy and ultimately unsuccessful attempt to kick it with the homies.
The absence of a dance-off, however, left a small eternity for filler. We were treated to a high-pitched performance of “America” from the revival production of “West Side Story” that sat a little better when they stopped singing and just focused on the dance. And Rascal Flatts came out to sing “Here Comes Goodbye,” in which a scruffed-up Tony Dovolani waltzed in carrying Julianne Hough on his shoulder and proceeded to fling her like a rag doll up and down and all around. The throws and lifts were pretty amazing (particularly that one where he threw her up and back), but man, all that head flailing has got to make a girl dizzy.
The Macy’s Stars of Dance performance was next, a burlesque routine featuring Carmen Electra. And seeing this actress brazenly flaunt her stuff with her dance troupe Cherry Boom Boom made me realize that this is how I hoped Denise Richards would have performed, rather than that frightened little deer that scampered off in Week 3.
The Flatts came out again with their down-home-country rendition of the Beatles’ “Revolution,” which started out rocking with the great guitar lick but then quickly took an odd turn to squaresville. At least we got to see ‘SYTYCD’ alum (and Carrie Ann ex) Artem Chigvintsev again, dancing the part of the rigid militarist along with Aliona Vialni, while Mark Ballas and Chelsie Hightower played the rebels.
And there was a cute segment on costumes featuring unsung “DWTS” costume designer Randall Christensen in which the stars got to run wild and dress their professional partners for a change, rather than the other way around. (So Tony was responsible for that UPS-man-gone-wild hideousness from Week 2 AND that sparkly ombre purple-yellow fever nightmare? Eesh.) The contestants had some cute remarks — Lil’ Kim wanted to pimp her partner, and LT wanted to keep it demure for his mother’s visit, despite the fact that partner Edyta was “allergic to clothes.” My favorite comment, of course, was Ty’s: “You can forget about Dolce and Gabbana. This is going to be Ty-riffic!” Well, Ty one on and call him adorable! My interest is piqued. Here’s hoping for some chrome pasties or a rhinestone-studded sheer gold lamé halter top with tassels as far as the eye can see. When in doubt, just add fringe.
More filler included an interview with body-language expert Lilian Glass, who explained that Lil’ Kim keeps her eyes and mouth agape so as to take it all in, Chuck doesn’t like being judged, and Steve-O’s hand on waist, head cocked to the side, and ear up are basically him expecting the worst.
And the wild boy assumed that position once again at the end of this program, as Steve-O and Ty were revealed to be in the bottom two. And when it was announced that Steve-O’s posse of voters wasn’t enough to save him, the Jackass took it all in stride. “It’s forced me to really grow as a person, and for that, I’m super grateful,” he said.
What do you think, viewers? Did the right person go home? Anyone else hoping Artem will show up next season as a regular pro? Do you miss the dance-off?
— Allyssa Lee