Cubs, not Dodgers, are America’s choice

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Bust your bottom for 162 games, enjoy a breakout September, win your division, turn Hollywood into Mannywood, roll into the playoffs with as much mojo as anyone, and what do you get for your effort?

If you’re the Dodgers, you get cast as extras in the movie.

Or cartoon villains.

In the National League divisional series that starts Wednesday in Chicago, the Cubs are Popeye and the Dodgers are Bluto, ahk, ahk, ahk.

The Cubs are Dudley Do-Right, the Dodgers are Snidely Whiplash.

See, the Cubs haven’t been in a World Series in 63 years and haven’t won one in 100. That’s a century’s worth of Holy Cows. That 100 is such a nice round number, the Cubbies historically are such lovable losers, with Harry Caray looking down through heaven’s outfield ivy with his patented Coke-bottle glasses, the Cubs are already the Boston Red Sox of 2004.

Before they throw out the first pitch or put the first ball in play, they’re America’s team in the ’08 baseball playoffs.

Americans, we know, are such suckers for a sob story.

Bad luck for the Dodgers to be cast as the Joker.

But word up, L.A., and better get accustomed to it for the next week. Because it’s pretty much going to be ONLY Dodger fans who hope the team doesn’t play like one.

-- Ted Green

Ted Green is a former sportswriter for the L.A. Times and National Sports Daily. He is currently senior sports producer for KTLA Prime News.