Dancing With(out) the Stars

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If ‘Dancing With the Stars’ is really all about the dance competition, 82-year-old Cloris Leachman already would be eliminated. But, like gymnastics and figure skating, dancing is about subjectivity and entertainment value and maybe even crooked judging (in the way that fans can vote early and often for their favorite).

Monday’s performance show featured former Olympic track star Maurice Greene’s partner Cheryl Burke calling Greene ‘lazy,’ soap opera star Susan Lucci dancing after totally dramatic footage was shown of Lucci having an MRI exam that turned up a broken bone in her foot, and Warren Sapp overcoming a horrible silver-and-blue and much-too-sparkly costume to get a standing ovation for his dancing.

But there can only be one winner this season, and it has to be Derek Hough (pictured at right).

Yes, he has a partner, Brooke Burke, who has some fame as a model and talk show hostess, but it doesn’t matter. This may sound like sacrilege to some more veteran movie star fans, but Hough dances almost as beautifully as Fred Astaire, almost as athletically as Gene Kelly.

And in today’s world, in which movies aren’t musicals and don’t incorporate dancing into the plot, Astaire and Kelly might have been left twirling around some anonymous starlet as the only way to make money from their significant talent.

Oh, and sympathy vote aside, I have a feeling Lucci might be gone after Tuesday’s results show. Leachman is just more entertaining.

-- Diane Pucin