Just What the USFL Has Won

After the verdict was announced Tuesday, Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post wrote, “Now comes the hard part for the USFL, figuring out how to spend the one dollar.”

“Not much momentum in one dollar,” added Kornheiser, although he noted that at least it will now get you a gallon of gas. Otherwise, he said it could get you:

-- A Good Humor, most of a Haagen-Dazs cone, half a Dove Bar.

--A bottle of beer, as long as it’s domestic.

--One Godiva chocolate. One designer cookie. Not both.

--About three minutes’ worth of a room rental in Trump Tower.

--Enough ink for Kelvin Bryant to sign his Redskin contract.

--Four local pay-telephone calls to The George Michael Sports Machine to find out the latest score from the Jacksonville Bulls’ game.

--Two chicken nuggets.

--Harvey Myerson’s autograph.

--Manny, but not Moe or Jack.

--For one dollar, Earl Scheib might even paint part of your hood.

Add Trial: Wrote Joe Gergen of Newsday: “The dollar bill or, better yet, a check in that amount bearing the NFL logo, can be encased in glass and displayed over the entrance to Trump Tower, perhaps with an accompanying legend: ‘We won.’ ”

Said New York Giants owner Wellington Mara after the verdict: “I told Lamar Leachmann, our defensive line coach, to get the troops ready, for we might be meeting Herschel Walker in Dallas on a Monday night.”

Trivia Time: In the 10 years of the American Football League what player scored the most points? (Answer below.)

Dept. of Irony: Says Joe Theismann: “I once made a statement that the only way I would leave the field would be if they carried me out on a stretcher. Believe me, I would never say that again.”

Add Theismann: Calling the win over Dallas for the NFC title in 1982 his biggest thrill, he said: “I get goose bumps thinking about it, like it’s in a bubble, or just up there in time. I’ve never stood in a place and felt the stadium shake. The only feeling that compares to it was when I was in California last month and the earthquake hit.”

54 Years Ago Today: On July 31, 1932, Cleveland’s Municipal Stadium opened for business. In the inaugural game, Lefty Grove and the Philadelphia A’s beat Mel Harder and the Indians, 1-0, in front of 76,979.

For What It’s Worth: Proving that it takes more than speed to steal bases, Bo Jackson has been thrown out in all four of his base-stealing attempts for the Memphis Chicks.

Here’s the quote, and guess who said it: “You can’t drive players anymore, the way they were driven in John McGraw’s day. We have college boys, young men who have been pampered. Baseball is handed to them on a silver platter.”

Billy Southworth, manager of the St. Louis Cardinals, said it in 1942.

Trivia Answer: Gino Cappelletti, Boston Patriots wide receiver and placekicker with 1,100 points. He scored 42 touchdowns, all on receptions, for 252 points; kicked 170 field goals for 510 points, and made 330 point-after-touchdown kicks and four two-pointers for 338 points.

Quotebook

New York Mets reliever Doug Sisk, after losing to the Chicago Cubs, 2-1, when third baseman Howard Johnson made two errors in one inning to allow the Cubs to score the winning run: “I’ll bring it up in arbitration.”