70 Valentine’s Days : Years Only Make Their Love Grow

The nicest thing about Valentine’s Day, say Ben and Josephine Benavides of Huntington Beach, is that they will spend it together--as usual.

Today will, in fact, be their 70th Valentine’s Day as husband and wife.

Ben, 97, and Josephine, 90, got an early start on Valentine’s Day at a surprise party Friday in their honor at CareWest Huntington Valley Convalescent Hospital in Huntington Beach.

“The party is to celebrate our 70th wedding anniversary, which was on Jan. 28,” said Josephine Benavides.

With frequent laughs and winks at each other, the couple Friday recalled the span of their marriage.

It all began in their hometown, Las Cruces, N.M., in 1916. Epifanio (nicknamed Ben) Benavides was 25 and a farmer who worked in both New Mexico and California. Josephine was 18 and a recent graduate of Loretto Academy in Las Cruces.

“I had studied under the sisters, and I was thinking of becoming a nun,” she said. She then broke into a grin.

Ben, a stocky man with a very firm handshake, also grinned at the reminiscence. “I met her when she was at the convent. Oh, she was such a beautiful woman! And she still is,” he said.

Josephine, a vivacious woman with regal bearing and a commanding voice, smiled at her husband’s compliment. She recalled that although she found Ben attractive, she had resisted the idea of marriage. If she did not become a nun, she said, she fully intended on becoming a career woman. And how would marriage fit into that equation?

But she said Ben persisted with his courtship. Love won out. The couple wed on Jan. 28, 1917.

America was then embroiled in World War I, and Ben went into the Army shortly after they were married. “I came home about a year later, and that’s when I first saw our new son,” Ben recalled.

The couple had two sons and two daughters, with one of the daughters being adopted. “And we have 18 grandchildren and 33 great-grandchildren,” Josephine said.

The Benavides family moved to Los Angeles about 1920. Ben said he had a succession of interesting jobs, including being a ship worker at San Pedro and operating an engine-repair company with his sons.

Josephine proudly noted that she kept true to her dream of being a career woman, despite marriage and raising a family.

“I worked all my life,” she said. “I always liked work. I still like to work.”

Ultimately she rose to head an advertising agency in Los Angeles. “And I really haven’t retired, even now,” she said.

Josephine agreed that she was, in effect, a pioneer in women’s liberation. Insisting on a career, she noted, was not the accepted thing for women early this century. But, yes, she said, marriage and careers can work out--her 70 years with Ben Benavides is proof.

What, then, is the secret of this long love affair?

“We always talked things over and agreed,” Ben said.

Ups and Downs

“And we didn’t disagree about money,” Josephine said. “You know, money can be the biggest problem in a marriage, especially if both husband and wife work. But it was never a problem for us. He worked, and I worked, and we put our money together. There were other problems, of course, over the years. It wasn’t easy. We all have our ups and downs. But we’ve been very happy.”

Ben Benavides smiled impishly. “We got together real easily,” he said. “Whatever she said, I did.”

Then Ben and Josephine Benavides both broke into laughter--a long, happy laugh that seemed to sum up 70 years of Valentine’s Days.