Butler Banks on Princely Salary

In a profile in Manhattan, Inc. magazine, Desmond Patrick Hamilton Gorges is described as an Anglo-Irishman “with two university degrees and three languages, a former journalist, public relations man, bon vivant and Tunisian hotelier, who traveled the world on his family name for 50 years until the luck and the money finally ran out.” So what is he doing now that warrants a spread in one of New York’s tonier business publications? At $90,000 a year (not including food, clothing and shelter), Gorges is New York City’s highest-paid butler. He manages the household of a prominent British banker, referred to by the magazine only as “the chairman.” His responsibilities include overseeing a food budget of more than $60,000 a year, a laundry budget of $500 a month, a flower budget of $250 a week and a staff of six that costs his boss well over $200,000 a year. “I do try to do my best,” Gorges said. “And I’ve never done that before in my life, anywhere, even when I was doing proper things. I’m sure the reason is the money. The money!” He added: “Of course, I do wish I’d chosen banking.”

--There is no talent or swimsuit or evening gown competition for this title. Not even a show of strength or high intelligence. It was judged entirely on body measurements, and the Florida entry triumphed over 2,000 other hopefuls by measuring a stunning 2.087 inches, from his head to the tip of his abdomen. He is the winner of the First National Cockroach Contest, and he made his debut at the Smithsonian Institution Insect Zoo in the Museum of Natural History, where he will be enthroned in a glass showcase next to 50 squirmy runners-up. There were some rules, of course. Contest coordinator Michael Bohdan said the competition was only open to dead, unsquished members of the species Periplaneta americana , the American cockroach. This year’s champion was discovered by Laine Snyder, 10, on a beach in Hollywood, Fla., after weeks spent looking for the paragon of Periplanetic perfection.

--Life in the fast lane may soon go even faster for hapless motorists in Dade County, Fla. Along with burgers, booze and banking services, violators will be able to pay traffic fines at a drive-through window beginning in January. “It’s the fast-food approach to the courts,” said Dade Circuit Court Clerk Richard Brinker, who came up with the idea. Complicated pleadings and multiple civil suits won’t be handled at the drive-through window--at least not at first, Brinker said. “We’ll start out small, with traffic tickets, and then move into motions and small claims. We can’t have some big law firm with a bunch of lawsuits gumming up the works.”