MOVIE REVIEW : Stockbroker on Lam as a Teen in ‘Hiding Out’

When we first see Jon Cryer as Boston stockbroker Andrew Morenski in “Hiding Out” (citywide), he’s almost unrecognizable buried under pricey duds, stylishly long hair and trim beard. Later, when he’s on the lam--a government witness chased by murderous Mafiosi--you get a shock of deja vu. Morenski cuts his beard, trims his hair, sweeps it back, dyes the sides blond--and presto! It’s like Humphrey Bogart emerging from the surgeon’s bandages in “Dark Passage.” We see a pumpkin grin, a shy slump: Jon Cryer turns into Jon Cryer.

“Hiding Out” gets to that point rather cleverly. Director Bob Giraldi makes rock videos and TV commercials. He did Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” video and the Miller Lite commercials. He knows how to pace, stage and cut for maximum effect. The movie zips along, saturated in all-pro slickness.

Then, with a resounding crash, screenwriters Joe Menosky and Jeff Rothberg drop their hook. Their fish-out-of-water chase thriller becomes a teen-age sex comedy--with a “Peggy Sue” wish-fulfillment twist. Morenski, disguised as a kid, goes through adolescence again--puppy love, dating, school politics--while hired killers ruthlessly stalk him. This is more High Concept than any movie can handle.

Incongruities pile up fast. Morenski flees to his aunt’s home in Delaware, then conceals his presence from her. Instead, he confides all to his teen-age cousin, Patrick --played by Keith Coogan as a babbling loudmouth--and hides a while under the dirty clothes in Patrick’s room.

Later, after registering as a student named Maxwell Hauser, he takes up residence in the local high school, sleeping in crannies. By day, a remark in English class makes him so popular that the local rap group decides to run him for class president. Andrew declines the offer, then sabotages things by tearing up his own posters. In the midst of this curious campaign, he also romances his opponent’s girlfriend.

Even more amazing than Andrew’s antics is the myopia of his Aunt Lucy (played by Cryer’s mother, Gretchen), who fails to recognize him in teen disguise. Has this woman never seen her nephew shaven? Has he always worn a beard and a stockbroker’s outfit?

In “Hiding Out,” the jokes--paced at a gallop by Giraldi--are unfunny. They lapse into cliches like drowning men grabbing at shticks. The two halves of “Hiding Out”--thriller and teen sex comedy--never meld, working against each other rather than together. The ending suggests a prom night “Parallax View” and the “topical” gags are at the expense of Nixon rather than Reagan.

Through it all, Cryer maintains a spry stance: He’s one actor who can be winsome without getting sticky--and he probably deserves a citation for surviving lines like “I have my original feet,” in response to Annabeth Gish’s declamation that her parent’s car has its original innards.

Some of the supporting cast--John Walker and John Spencer as FBI agents, Anne Pitoniak as Morenski’s grandmother--are very good. Dan Leigh’s production design has amusing detail. Daniel Pearl’s photography is pearly and shiny. And Giraldi shows so much surface skill, he seems sure to make good, slick movies some day. “Hiding Out” never escapes its absurd hook, this mechanical collision of genres. After all, if someone really needs to hide out, isn’t the best plan to simply . . . hide out?

‘HIDING OUT’ A De Laurentiis Entertainment Group release of an Evenmore Entertainment/Locomotion Pictures production. Producer Jeff Rothberg. Director Bob Giraldi. Script Joe Menosky, Rothberg. Camera Daniel Pearl. Music Anne Dudley. Production design Dan Leigh. Editor Edward Warschilka. Executive producer Martin Tudor. With Jon Cryer, Keith Coogan, Annabeth Gish, Oliver Cotton, Claude Brooks, Tim Quill, Gretchen Cryer.

Running time: 1 hour, 38 minutes.

MPAA rating: PG-13 (parents are strongly cautioned; some material may be inappropriate for children under 13).