A Royal Luncheon Sets This Crowd to Dreaming of Crowns

“If I were king.”

Frances Hammer didn’t hesitate a minute.

The wife of industrialist Armand Hammer, the woman who probably sets records for being jet-lagged, knew just what royal personage she would be--if wishes came true.

“I’d be Queen Elizabeth of course,” she answered. “She’s the wealthiest woman in the world.”

For Hammer himself, “I’d be a grand duke. An adviser to kings.”

The Hammers, sitting Saturday afternoon with UK/LA chairman Norman and Sadie Lee in the glass-walled Tower restaurant, high atop Downtown’s Trans-America building, had plenty of time to play games and chat. The schedule of the Duke and Duchess of York was running late, more than an hour late, and the 200-or-so-guests milled about. Asked about his choice for fantasy job, the Britain-born Lee was adamant: “I’d leave being royalty to royalty.”

But the Americans certainly had visions of crowns dancing in their heads.

Margaret Ferraro, wife of City Council President John Ferraro, was clear: “I’d be Fergie . . . because Andrew is so handsome.”

Actor Ed Begley Jr. was also succinct on the question of what royal personage he’d like to be: “Duke Ellington.”

La Opinion publisher Jose Lozano wanted to be “Edward, the Duke of Windsor.” When his wife, Gloria, hesitated, he told her, “And you want to be Wallis Simpson.”

Marcia Hobbs wanted to be “The Sultan of Brunei--now I know how wonderful that job is.” (She and her father, former Vatican Ambassador William Wilson, are involved in business dealings with the Brunei Investment Agency, she said.)

Finally, the guests were herded from the reception area into the dining room, although by this time, lunch had practically become tea.

The musicians played, with perhaps some sense of irony, “They Can’t Take That Away From Me,” and the young Royals arrived.

Perky and Charming

Sarah, the Duchess of York, was as perky and charming as the tabloids made her to be, although it had been decided beforehand that there would be no “walkabout” at the luncheon, no chance for the invitees to actually meet the Royals. The perk of being on the lists of Mayor Tom Bradley or the National Westminister Bank Group and the Central City Assn. was to be able tell one’s friends that one had lunched with the Duke and Duchess of York.

Those attending got a close-up of the red-headed Duchess, who managed to show both her spunkiness and, in a dress that fit tightly across her midriff, the obvious signs of her three-month pregnancy.

When Prince Andrew spoke, she helped him from table side, suggesting words. When he paused at one point, and she stage-whispered “excitement,” he looked down at her in mock anger and announced, “This is my speech.” There was, at this point, a collective sigh of true relief from around the room, the romantics now all assured that the couple really were the “great pair” that has been imagined.

Remember, the city and county are truly separate fiefdoms when it comes to entertaining royalty, continuing a competition born during the 1984 Olympics when the county began serious entertaining, culminating in the appointment of its very own chief of protocol, Sandra Ausman. Now the city and county almost never do anything jointly that involves royalty, but instead schedule their own welcomes, lunches, receptions, etc., in what must seem a baroque side of democracy to visiting dignitaries.

This day was put together by City Chief of Protocol Bee Lavery, who was asked by one member of the royal entourage about her seating for the head table. Although several “younger couples” had been included at the round table--Central City Assn. President Chris and Darlene Stewart and the Lozanos--the Royals were placed between the mayor and Ethel Bradley, with whom they had just spent the entire morning. Lavery explained, “We follow White House protocol,” and that apparently was that.

Bradley’s Friends

The guest list was made up of close Bradley friends. Others there included Nick Patsaouras, RTD commissioner, and his wife, Sylvia; Maureen Kindel, former Public Works commissioner, and her husband, Ninth Circuit Judge Stephen Reinhardt; Fran Savitch, former Bradley City Hall operative, and her husband, Superior Court Judge Leon Savitch; Mike Gage, deputy mayor, and his wife, Lacey; Cynthia Ryan, a Downtown attorney, with her husband, Robert; John Mack, Urban League director; Mark Pisano, Southern California Association of Governments director, and his wife, Jane, who is heading up L.A. 2000; Swedish Consul General Margareta Hegard; and, of course, British Consul General Donald F. and Elizabeth Ballentyne.

No detail was forgotten. The oversized, beautifully printed fold-out program contained a “suitable for framing” color photograph of the couple, a copy of their morning agenda, a letter from Mayor Bradley (who never seems more at ease or more charming than when he is hosting royalty) and a list of those involved in the city’s royal welcome. No, not just the members of the City Council, but also the six staffers for protocol chief Lavery, down to the three names of the “USC Protocol Interns.”

Lavish Praise

Those traveling with the Royal couple were lavish in their praise of Bradley and his graciousness. And everyone agreed that lunch, the actual eating of which was hurried, was wonderful.

Salmon was served, as it will be at many of the planned lunches and dinners, although Lavery did point out, “Ours is the first salmon.”

Today, the Duke and Duchess, as part of the extensive promotional aspect of the visit, make what is described as the first visit of a member of the Royal family to a supermarket as they put the spotlight on British food.

What we are talking about here is comfort food, perfect for the British Isles weather that seems determined to accompany the young Royals: Joseph Walker Shortbread and Carr’s crackers, and Robertson’s jams to spread on them. And even little bottles with Devonshire cream.

Tony Matthews, who heads up Food From Britain, said he has gotten recipes into the hands of Vons, Hughes and Ralphs supermarkets--and so, in the deli this week, look for Scottish eggs and beef-and-kidney pie. And Stilton cheese, Schweppes bottles (including the new Royal Seltzer, which, Matthews says, has “just a little bit of sweetening”), farmhouse Cheddar, and, oh yes, Stratmore Water--which comes, Matthews promises, from the estate of the Queen Mother. But of course.